I refuse to be your everything.
Being your everything clutters my mental space with the idea that I can think like you in order to anticipate your needs. In order to keep you happy.
This leaves me drained, empty, upset, unappreciated, and unfulfilled.
I’m a task rabbit, hopping to keep you happy and you take it for granted.
And I allow it, because I know you need me — at least that’s what you say when threatened with my leaving.
I refuse to be your everything, because who are you in this equation?
Who are you to be?
How could I possibly be the everything for someone who doesn’t know who they are?
Being your everything leaves me feeling shaky, unbalanced, and unsure because you aren’t moored to your own baseline.
How the hell are we both supposed to find our footing, when you aren’t anchored to anything?
I refuse to be your everything, because I need to save something I can be for myself.
By being your everything, I can’t be good at any one thing.
Jane of all trades, a master of none.
By being your everything, I can’t be good at being me.
I want to be a master of being me.
I want to be the everything for me.
So I refuse to be your everything.