Why I Refuse to Be Your Everything

Red Buoy on the Beach By piffle pyramid
Red Buoy on the Beach By piffle pyramid

I refuse to be your everything.

Being your everything clutters my mental space with the idea that I can think like you in order to anticipate your needs. In order to keep you happy.

This leaves me drained, empty, upset, unappreciated, and unfulfilled.

I’m a task rabbit, hopping to keep you happy and you take it for granted.

And I allow it, because I know you need me — at least that’s what you say when threatened with my leaving.

I refuse to be your everything, because who are you in this equation?

Who are you to be?

How could I possibly be the everything for someone who doesn’t know who they are?

Being your everything leaves me feeling shaky, unbalanced, and unsure because you aren’t moored to your own baseline.

How the hell are we both supposed to find our footing, when you aren’t anchored to anything?

I refuse to be your everything, because I need to save something I can be for myself.

By being your everything, I can’t be good at any one thing.

Jane of all trades, a master of none.

By being your everything, I can’t be good at being me.

I want to be a master of being me.

I want to be the everything for me.

So I refuse to be your everything.

9 thoughts on “Why I Refuse to Be Your Everything

  1. Oh my! Talk about perfect timing!

    “This leaves me drained, empty, upset, unappreciated, and unfulfilled” – this is exactly where I’ve been finding myself. I’ve been trying to keep clients happy and have been taken badly for granted.

    Thank you for putting words around it and for a lightbulb moment.

  2. Once again, right on target for me. On so many levels.

    Thank you so much for your insight – it is very inspiring to read, as it shapes my feelings into words..

  3. There is a double standard that is not yet being addressed. There is a caliber of Chivalry that all men are expected to understand and perform, by men and women alike. To be able to hold a door open for a lady, to be selfless and put the needs of a woman/family before your own, and to show strength in the midst of weakness: All of these actions and more, that call on selflessness and the self-sacrifice of a man for the better of the lives around him.

    So do excuse a man when he has made you, a precious woman, his everything. He has made a priority of living not only for himself, but for you. And if a “Real” man, this “True” man, has done so.. then call upon yourselves as “True” women to find the strength in yourselves to live a selfless life to others. And be that pillar of support in his life that only a “Real” woman can fill.

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