You can’t stay in your corner of the forest waiting for people to come to you. You have to go to them sometimes.
– Winnie the Pooh
If you’re anything like me, standing out and being seen might be an unexpected challenge. Being an extrovert and a relationship builder, I thought that side of my business should be relatively easy. But the universe had other plans for me. I had a lesson to learn and I’m still learning it!
I found myself hiding out in the back rooms of my business, designing programmes, writing material, servicing my existing clients and creating lots of “stuff” but missing one thing….
Attracting new clients.
The obvious step was to go and figure out what the problem was. Of course, that ended up in my playing safe with website copy and design but still no real action that would deliver results. The fact that I help other business owners to up-level and work on their mindset exacerbated it further – welcome in imposter syndrome!
What I knew was that I couldn’t solve this problem with the same mindset that created it. I also knew that if I was causing the problem it was a direct result of who I was being in my business.
I needed help.
Fortunately, I’m part of a really supportive business goddess programme and I thought to myself, “What a great question to get some coaching on.”
So, I’m on this call, describing my edge and saying how I intellectually know I’ve got to get out there more, but I just can’t figure out why I keep doing the same things over and over and hiding out behind the scenes.
I was asked what I was afraid of.
“Failure” was the first thing I came up with. Nope they weren’t accepting that one. We needed to go deeper.
“Rejection” was the next thing. Nope they felt there was more juice.
After what seemed like hours of silence but was probably only 30 seconds, I said, “Ridicule.”
The answer surprised me, but it felt so true I couldn’t wriggle away from it. I was asked if I’d experienced ridicule and rejection as a child and I was transported back to my school days and felt that really uncomfortable feeling of wanting the ground to swallow me up.
Suddenly, I could see that back room stuff I’d been doing was a protection. It was an unconscious way of being that I’d adopted to prevent me from really showing up and sharing my truth – just incase people ridiculed it and me!
It was as if these competing parts were laid out on a map in front of me and I was finally able to see the game I was playing.
It was time for a new mindset, to recommit fully to my passion and my path. I had to empower myself to have a totally different outcome and to consider that those people that in the past have made jabs or little innuendoes about my work, might actually possibly be both triggered and slightly inspired by me.
With that perspective, I felt braver. I could see that hiding out in my corner of the forest meant that my light was also hidden. That my job wasn’t to go and get new clients but it was heal this wound that had resulted in a fear of being ridiculed and show up, open hearted and unattached to the outcome, in service of the work.
How can we reframe when we’re hiding in our corner of the forest?
- We are all the creators of our own outcomes. If we’re hiding we’re creating an effect in our work and lives.
- Hiding is a choice, it actually takes just as much effort to hide out as it does to show up.
- We all have the power of choice and we can empower ourselves to have a totally different outcome.
- We manifest through our belief system. (In my example I was hiding because I had a belief that if I showed up fully, I would be rejected and ridiculed and in there somewhere was a very old belief about not being good enough.)
- As human beings, we tend to prove ourselves right. So if we shift the belief and adopt a new empowering mindset then our job is to go and take action on that new belief. This will help us to embed the new mindset.
- Your light is unique. Your offering to the world is therefore unique. If you hide yourself away, you hide both your light and your potential contribution. And the world needs your light.
I’d love to hear some of your experiences about edges and how you’ve learned to cross them and allow your creativity to be seen.