The Cosby Show Lied to Me: My New View on Balance

The Cosby Show Lied to Me: My New View on Balance Tivi Jones
“Physics in Sepia” by chefranden – click for info

I’ll admit it.

When I started my business in 2010, I was motivated by the idea of having “it all.”

Whatever “it all” was at the time.

An awesome family, a stellar career, passion to spare, money to burn and time for me, myself and I.

I’d have a successful career from home and be able to raise a family and keep my husband happy at the same time.

And any problems that arose could magically be solved with sitcom-mom-ease, because I had Clair Huxtable fierceness.

I would finally live peacefully in Perfect-town.

It was an amazing dream.

Two years later, I’m in the middle of a divorce, albeit an amicable one, and I often wonder if I’m doing the “right thing” in my business.

Tivi of 2010 would probably look at the Tivi of now and think, “Crap, we failed. Miserably.” But that chick was operating with a Cosby Show-esque view of balance.

That girl thought balance or the “perfect life” was a destination.

I believe “having it all” to be a journey.

The old me thought of balance as a stagnant state. Like a lamp sitting on a dresser or a picture hanging level on a wall.

It’s perfect. It’s even on all sides. It’s balanced.

It’s boring.

Now I see balance as being like a spinning top.

A top spins and balances because it has momentum. The universe and all its forces hit that spinning top from all angles. Air currents flow around it and it uses these currents and forces to keep moving.

It balances (present tense, not past tense). It’s active. It moves. It’s dynamic.

I want a life that’s balanced because it’s dynamic, not because it’s still or, worse, done.

I now believe balance to be the ability to take life as it is and create enough momentum to keep spinning.

I believe if I stay dynamic, keep moving, and work with the forces around me, instead of against them, I’ll create my own dynamically balanced life.

What’s your view on balance? And how do you maintain your momentum?

4 thoughts on “The Cosby Show Lied to Me: My New View on Balance

  1. Balance, to me, isn’t having every single part of your life perfect. It’s about choosing one aspect to focus on and then letting the others do as they will. I can’t be a great mom, awesome business person, and perfect wife. If we try to focus on everything, we don’t focus on anything enough to make it worthwhile. We just waste our time. I do agree that we have to take life as it is and just keep going while doing the best we can.

    1. “If we try to focus on everything, we don’t focus on anything enough to make it worthwhile.”
      I love that. It just reminded me to live in the moment and bask in the joy of each role we are currently playing.

      You can’t be the perfect parent and the perfect employee. And who sets those standards anyway?!

      I don’t strive to be a perfect anything anymore. Except maybe just perfectly flawed me. I fit the Tivi-mode pretty well. :-)

  2. I like the idea of balance as a state of flux. I have an old set of brass scales that we’ve used over the years for homeschooling, but mostly I keep it as a display piece. It reminds me that just one tiny thing can put “balance” completely out of whack. It’s a fantastic goal, but it should not be the only thing we strive for.

    1. Thanks, Briar! Love that name.

      Balance is such a tricky thing…for so long I thought of balance as being a concrete formula to be achieved by having all the right things at the right time.

      But for me now, it’s more of a state of mind that I try to dwell in.

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