The Best Valentine You’ll Ever Have? Yourself.


Lately I keep hearing people mutter about Valentine’s Day as they roll their eyes and talk as though it’s their least favorite day of the year. I suppose we’re all entitled to our own opinion, but it just doesn’t seem right that there could be so much negativity about a day dedicated to love.

It’s interesting, because it seems as though people decide their worth on this day, based on whether or not they’re attached at the hip. Yet, in my experience, my worst Valentine’s Days have been while in a relationship.

One year I sent my boyfriend on a scavenger hunt, with clues that I’d thoughtfully put together, that took him through various memories in our relationship. He chose to take me to a movie and scribbled some mushy words on a piece of notebook paper. I was crushed. No flowers? No chocolate? He couldn’t even spring for a card?

And that’s when I realized that there is such expectation on this day, and so many of us are crushed when people fail to appreciate us in the way we think they should.

So ever since then, I’ve promised myself that Valentine’s Day is not going to be defined by whether or not I’m in a relationship. Some of the best Valentine’s Days I’ve had have been while single because the only person I have any expectations of is myself. I get to choose what I do and who I do it with, and if I want flowers, well then I’m going to go out and buy them. I get to fill the day with as much self love as I want — entirely guilt free.

So, if you’re single or attached  this Valentine’s Day, I really encourage you to throw love your own way as well. I think we so often put so much energy into other people that we forget that we’re worthy of giving ourselves the same energy, attention, and love.

Be your own spark. Your own light. And radiate with love for yourself.

Tell me, what are you going to do to love yourself today?

5 thoughts on “The Best Valentine You’ll Ever Have? Yourself.

  1. I’m at the age now where Valentine’s Day is more fun for me to give my 2 sons a treat…and given that neither is in a relationship right now, gift cards for meals in the cities where they attend school is just a fun way for me to say “I’m thinking of you”. My husband and I haven’t celebrated the day since we were young and before children.

    I agree with you much stress about a day, so many high expectations and that makes it very difficult for another person to meet, especially when they don’t know what the other person’s expectations are. It becomes almost a no win situation and can put terrible stress on a relationship.

    I love how you’ve decided to celebrate the day and how really everyone can celebrate the day — as you wish, throw some love to someone else, throw some upon yourself…that one is a win win!

  2. Dear Tahani,
    You look so young to be so wise. If everyone could embrace self love every day, not just on Valentine’s Day, we would live in a wonderful indeed! I am a firm believer in the energy you send out into the world is what you get back and it all starts with loving oneself.

    I will send Valentine’s love your way in the form of a heartfelt Thank You for your insightful writing.

  3. I’m going to take a nap with my beautiful kitty Lila :) I thought today’s thought was really insightful. I can remember many years feeling less than because I wasn’t in a relationship.

  4. Thankfully, my wife and I are pretty in-tune, like to keep it simple, but I still subscribe to the wisdom of “Happy Wife, Happy Life”, so we’ll do whatever she wants… which I think has something to do with getting Frozen Yogurt with our son. Done and done!

    Happy Valentines to you, Tahani.

  5. I think true Valentine is everyday. February 14 does not define love. Real love for one another is shown everyday in actions, not just words, through acts of kindness, compassion, respect, understanding and truth. Whether you are with someone in a relationship or with family or friends and most of all yourself. As stated you must have love for yourself and value yourself as a human being and not let others devalue you. By keeping this in mind it makes it easier to walk away from situations or people who do not love you as you deserve.

    Happy Valentines to everyone!

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