January 28, 2013

Why You Shouldn’t Marry the Man of Your Dreams

image by mudcard  - click for more info

The scene: my wedding reception.

Toasts have just been completed by my dad, the maid of honor, the best man, and freshly minted husband. I unexpectedly grab the mic.

“Zach was scheduled to give the final toast tonight, but his days of having the last word are over.”

The crowd goes wild. The laughter dies down. People shift in their seats and drink from their Mason jars.

“After we got engaged, Zach playfully asked me if he was the man of my dreams. I thought for a second and said, ‘Nope. I never could have thought you up.’ Zach, you are unlike anyone I’ve ever met, and unlike anyone I could have predicted for myself. So, no, you are not the man of my dreams. But you are the man that I love.”

Why am I sharing this story, and why did the table of bridesmaids produce enough tears to fill a punch bowl?

Because there is extraordinary power in being open to the unexpected.

It requires vulnerability. It means experiencing rather than controlling.

Can you stay open to the unexpected?

Because sometimes your imagination just can’t do justice to what’s in store for you.

In the comments, I’d love to hear if you’ve been pleasantly surprised by something you couldn’t predict.

Gathering light,

 

Filed Under: Plot Notes Tagged With: , , 7 Comments
May 28, 2012

art to inspire: knowing when it’s time to soar

Today is Memorial Day here in the States, and many of us have an extra day off – a third day added to that always-goes-by-too-fast weekend. I hope you are spending it with family and friends, getting out of the house, and recharging for the week to come.

But when you go back to work tomorrow, or if you are already back to work today, think about what you really hope to achieve with your work week. Are you trying to keep up with your orders and just stay above water? Or are you hoping that this is the week that you’ll land that big wholesale order or get featured on the blog you would just about die to be on?

If all you are hoping to get out of the week is more of the same, then by all means, keep doing exactly what you are doing. Pretty simple.

If you are dreaming about stepping off the plateau and soaring to the next level, you are going to have to do things a little differently.

So where should you be spending your time?

It is time to explore the bigger picture and plan accordingly.

Decide what you want and go for it. Start your day by  writing an email pitch to that blog you dream of being featured on, not writing yet another post for your own blog. Don’t forget to press the send button on that pitch, too, by the way.

Or spend your morning making a list of brick and mortar shops that would be the absolute best fit for your work. If they aren’t going to come to you, you need to go to them! And make sure you start sending out inquiries to those retailers once you’ve made your list too.

Bottom line: YOU need to make it happen because…

Dreams don’t work unless you do.

This week, you need to make your business work for you, so that you are not just working for your business.

What you will do this week to make your business work for you? Pledge it in the comments below.

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image c/o Promo Pocket (found via Going Home to Roost)

Filed Under: art to inspire, Buy You, For You, creating action Tagged With: , , , , , , , , 3 Comments
April 5, 2012

The Unplugging Bug

Unplug sunday

A disproportionate number of conversations in our home start like this:

Me: “Honey, I heard the most amazing TED talk today!” (or podcast, audio book, interview, etc.)

My Honey: “Oh. Really?” as he subtly backs away, looking for an escape route from the onslaught of unrelated but fascinating facts, stories, and anecdotes that is sure to follow.

Now, let me be clear: my husband is a good listener. The best, in fact.

I’m quite the listener myself. I am constantly taking in information. Absorbing input. Learning and listening while I work and go about my day.

I can tell you the best time of your cycle to ask for a raise (ovulation – your communication is at its best), I can lay out a zillion different (and conflicting) Twitter strategies that I’ve never implemented, and I can tell you more than you care to know about the differences between the right and left hemispheres of your brain.

It’s not just what I listen to. It’s piles of books, magazines, and my Google reader. It’s emails from friends and readers. It’s beyond words – as an artist, I’m also constantly taking in visual work by others.

I’m a sucker for output, too. My hand compulsively reaches for my phone to Instagram every sweet moment of my life (I have a two year old, so there are many). I write. I draw. I paint. I’m in constant real life conversation with my loved ones.

I love learning, and I love making connections with other people, in real life and online. There’s nothing quite like hearing that something I’ve written or drawn has made someone else’s day better. And there’s nothing quite like discovering something that brings a tiny epiphany to my brain.

There’s nothing inherently wrong with input and output.

But there is just one thing missing from all of this.

Silence.

Space.

Room for fresh ideas to be planted and grow.

Earlier this year I began unplugging for one day a week. No phone or internet or Netflix-streaming. No input or output outside of ‘real life.’ It required some planning each week, but it’s been so worth it.

I’ve got the unplugging bug. I want more.

Because I’ve realized that it’s not just about the technology. It’s about the information. It’s about the chatter.

It’s about having the same deep conversation every few days with my husband about the certain changes I’d like to create in my life, without getting any further clarity about how to sort them out and implement them. Because talking will only get me so far. There’s no space for the answers to come forth.

It’s about taking in more business or personal development information than I could possibly implement, from more business or personal development gurus than I could possibly name.

It’s about not taking time to examine my trajectories in life. Am I acting out of pure momentum and habit, or am I acting out of deep, unadulterated desire?

I’m on a quest for quiet. More space for the unknown to appear. Dialing down the earbuds, the stack of books, the screens, the email, and even (heavens!) the Instagram.

I think this has implications for my creativity – and yours – on all levels. Life, work, art.

Outside the sphere of anyone’s influence, what is important to us?

What does our work look like if we are not creating for anyone but ourselves?

What dreams do we not even know we had…if we have some space to dream them?

What thoughts emerge if we take a break from imbibing other people’s thinking?

What comes from a day unplugged and unfettered by chatter?

How does a sweet moment feel if we don’t record it?

What’s does completely free, wordless, and quiet time feel like?

This is my experiment. Does it speak to you?

How do you create space in your life for your own deep thoughts and voice (or total wordlessness!) to appear?

xxoo Maeg

Filed Under: Creative Call to Action, Plot Notes Tagged With: , , , , , , , , 16 Comments
March 9, 2012

I declare today Declarative Statement Day.

Got something to say?

You’re in luck, because today is the day to say it.

I’m declaring today Declarative Statement Day.

A day just to say whatever you gotta say.

I admit, saying things outright doesn’t come easily to me. Sometimes it has just plain hurt.

This may be a generalization, but I’ll hazard a guess that if you’re human (and especially if you’re female), this pattern may come up for you, too.

It sneaks into conversation in the slyest of ways.

For example, conversations about date night in our home used to go like this:

Me: “Honey, would you like to get Mexican tonight?”

Honey: “Are you saying that you would like to get Mexican tonight?”

In fact, that’s EXACTLY what I was saying without realizing that I was shaping my statement of my desire into a question – a question about what someone else wanted.

Wow.

I looked deeper and found that I was mitigating what I wanted in ways both large and small. Not only was I couching my dinner cravings in questions, but I was also letting my deepest, biggest desires die in my throat.

I know I’m not alone in having this pattern. I’ve observed it in others, too, and the funny thing I discovered was that those of us who speak this way can interpret it, too. I know what the questions really mean. I get the understatements. I’m hip to the subtext, the between the lines.

Perhaps we’re just trying to be gentle. Perhaps we’re unaware of our conditioning.

It’s no secret that assertiveness and aggressiveness get confused, but there is no violence in simply stating what you want.

Not speaking your desires is a violence to yourself.

It’s dangerous.

Not only for your dreams and wants, but for your creativity.

If I can’t say what I want for dinner, then how can I possibly put a bold brushstroke on the page?

If I can’t name how I’d like to spend an afternoon, then how can I lay down the lines of a brave poem?

If I can’t state my dreams out loud, then how can I create the framework to make them happen?

I’ve heard that how we do one thing is how we do everything.

That’s why I’ve declared today Declarative Statement Day.

A day to pay close attention to our language. To how we put ourselves into the world through our words.

A day to declare, state, say our thoughts and desires in ways that are bold, solid, fearless, and free.

I declare today Declarative Statement Day.

What are you going to say?

Filed Under: Creative Call to Action Tagged With: , , , , , 8 Comments
February 24, 2012

Leaping in Leap Year 2012!

Are you ready to leap in 2012?

I love that 2012 is Leap Year because it reminds me of one of my favorite quotes from Julia Cameron’s book The Artist’s Way: “Leap and the net will appear.”

Sometimes we must take blind leaps of faith for our creative work. If we don’t believe in our work, who will?

If you treat your creative work as a hobby, it will remain a hobby. That’s fine, and there is nothing wrong with that. Hobbies can be very life enhancing.

But if you want your creative dreams to come true, you must respect them and reserve enough time and energy to make them reality.

We must honor our creative work with time, materials, space, adventure, and love.

Everyone wants a magical, fulfilling life. At times, it is easy to become discouraged and lose focus. Sometimes through the normal stresses of daily life, we can become so burdened by our mundane routines and daily tasks that we forget about our creative dreams.

It is your sole responsibility to take care of your dream, to let it be born through you, to allow your individual, beautiful soul shine through and inspire others.

Dreams can be scary, overwhelming. When I started my 12 Countries in 12 Months project, I was terrified. I had serious doubts, I had moments when I wondered what on earth I was getting myself into.

This weekend, I’m traveling to the eighth city on my tour: Budapest. It’s a place I’ve never been, I don’t speak the language, I have no idea what awaits me – and I am thrilled. Thank goodness I pushed through my fears of the unknown to get to the place I am now. I’ve found a place where I can enjoy my own creative projects, and excitement has replaced terror.

Believe and trust that the universe wants you to express your dreams. You are on this planet for a reason; now make, leap, create, do!

Stop waiting for the perfect time and the perfect space; jump in, get your feet wet, don’t worry about perfection, and start now with whatever it is that you want to do. Don’t make excuses about why you can’t anymore, decide that you can and go, go, go!

“Change your life today. Don’t gamble on the future, act now, without delay.”
- Simone de Beauvoir

Respect and honor your time, use it wisely, and don’t ever feel guilty about the time you are spending with your creative work. It is just as important as exercising, eating well – and much more important than your next Facebook update! See your creative work time as something you are going to build into your life. Every single day.

We are responsible for our own lives – for making our lives the most exciting, creative, interesting adventures as possible. Sometimes, it is bitter medicine to realize that we are the ones in command, but we are.

If you want an epic life, you must stretch your imagination, expand your possibilities, and move forward to build the life you want.

“Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.”
- Helen Keller

In the end, if you really believe deep down that you can do something, you can do it. And if you believe that you can’t do something, then that’s usually true too.

I hope you will value your creative work and see your creative dreams as a garden. When you honor, respect, nurture, love, and spend time with this garden, the more it will grow. Plant the seeds of your creative dreams, water them, give them sunshine and love – you will watch them flourish!

Sending you hugs from Munich, Germany today!

xo

Stephanie

p.s.
If you’d like to join an international, supportive community of women who are working towards their creative dreams, I’d like to invite you to join us for the new Spring Session of Creative Courage here.

Filed Under: creating action, creative thinkers, creativity, Plot Notes Tagged With: , , , , , 1 Comment