Taking Control of Overwhelm

image via Simon Carr – click for info

This is a guest post by Michelle Nickolaisen.

Overwhelm is one of the most unpleasant sensations I can think of, right up there with going to the dentist. Possibly the worst thing about it is that when you’re feeling overwhelmed, you’re paralyzed with it… which means you aren’t doing anything to stop whatever’s overwhelming you… which makes the overwhelm that much worse. Just writing that sentence made me feel a little stressed out, remembering the times when such a situation has happened to me. Part of being creative, too, is that overwhelm can negatively affect your work — even if the source of the overwhelm has nothing to do with your work.

That’s what this post is all about — I’m going to share with you a quick & useful process you can use to get your overwhelm under control, so that you can start taking the actions you need to take. Which leads to everything being back to a blissful state of calm. Or, at least, a slightly-less-chaotic state of normal. (Whatever floats your boat.)

The first thing I want you to do is grab some paper to write on.

If you’re feeling particularly organized, you can use a spreadsheet, but I like to use paper for these sorts of things; the tactile sensation of actually writing makes a huge difference for me in effectiveness. And, fun fact, writing things down can spur new ideas (when scientists studied people writing, several areas of their brains were lighting up at once, as opposed to typing, which only activates one area of your brain).

Ready? Good. Once you’ve got your paper, divide it into three columns.

Left: The Impression That I Get

In the left hand column, you’re going to write down what’s overwhelming you. Just starting to tease out what it is that’s got you freaked out can make a big difference, because often we don’t analyze the feeling, we just feel it. Teasing it out can make you aware of whether the overwhelm is being caused purely by emotions, by reality, or by some mix of the two. So, this is the column where you’ll write down, “I’ve got too much to do at work this week,” “I told my friends I’d help them move and now I don’t have time,” etc. Be as specific as humanly possible about what it is that’s overwhelming you.

Middle: The Cold, Hard Reality

Now, we’re going to play scientists. Lab coat optional.

Fact: Overwhelm is almost always a head game. I can’t count how many times I’ve sat down to do this exercise, only to realize that I don’t actually have any more to do this week than any other week. I’m just stressed out about something entirely unrelated — relationship issues, worrying about a friend, family drama, what-have-you — and it’s leaking into my brain, making me feel overwhelmed about everything at once.

This might not be the case for you. You might have actually overcommitted. You might just have too much on your plate at this moment. That’s okay, we’re going to fix it. But we need to figure out, if that is the case, by how much it’s the case. Using hard numbers and facts.

With the above examples, you’d follow, “I’ve got too much to do at work this week” with “I have to do x, y, and z this week, that’s different from my normal workload. They’ll probably take an extra five hours of work this week.” Or, “I told my friends I’d help them move” with “They’re moving on this day, and these are my other commitments this week.”

Think about it like an outside observer. How is this different from other times when you’ve been in a similar situation but didn’t feel overwhelmed? What constitutes “not having enough time”? How much time and energy will things actually take up once you get started on them? And how much of the overwhelm is you guilt-tripping yourself unnecessarily?

Right: Whatcha Gonna Do With All That Junk?

The right hand column on the page is, as you may have guessed, for writing down what you’re going to do to stop being overwhelmed about this specific thing, and to start taking action. In general, there are three paths to take here: move/modify, delegate, or delete.

Move or Modify

Can you move this specific obligation? Is next week or next month less busy? Is this a project that has to be done right this minute, or can it be moved to next quarter? If you can move something, do it. But make sure that you don’t move all of the things that are overwhelming you to the same week, otherwise you’re just kicking the issue down the road where it’ll cause trouble again.

If you can’t move an obligation, maybe you can modify it. To use one of the aforementioned examples, instead of helping your friends move for four or five hours one day, maybe you can help them for an hour or two instead. Is there a way that you can make this obligation smaller or involving less commitment?

Delegate

Do all of these things absolutely, positively need to be done by you? Fancy Hands and Task Rabbit can be useful here when it comes to handing off things that need to get done, but not necessarily by you. If you don’t need someone local, there’s also Zirtual. Between these three sites, you should be able to find someone to handle almost anything you need. Relinquish the need to handle every small detail and the stress that comes with that need.

Delete

Is this thing that’s stressing you out even important? Do you still actually want to do it? Do you need to do it? Or were you going to do it out of some misguided sense of obligation? We tend to take on a surprising amount of crap; one of the great things about becoming more busy is that it gives you a fantastic reason to let go of obligations and things you don’t actually want to do.

Whew! Don’t you feel better? And now, the next time you’re feeling freaked out & overwhelmed, you know what to do to get it back under control.

Now, go get yourself a margarita. You deserve it.

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Michelle is a project + operations wrangler for creative businesses, who also writes & teaches about productivity, organization, & systems (that don’t suck) for creatives. She lives in Austin, TX with her Shiba Inu & loves Buffy, dark chocolate, and tacos. Find her on the web at Bombchelle, on Facebook, or on Twitter.

Birthing Your Art: Becoming a Creativity Doula

“In Full Bloom” by Carrie Schmitt

This is a guest post by Carrie Schmitt.

After my first child was born, I was captivated by the process of giving birth. Shortly after, I became a certified labor doula to support other women through this daunting endeavor.

Today, I find that I am still practicing the positive birth affirmations and relaxation techniques as an artist to help me when I am stuck, feeling lost, or on the verge of giving up.

Creating and giving birth are not that different. The Spanish phrase for giving birth is “dar a luz,” which means to give light.

As an artist, you are giving light to something the world has never seen before — something that comes from within you.

Do you need a creativity doula? Here is what I’ve learned from the birth process that you can apply to your artistic life.

1. Surround yourself with people you trust and will support you to have the art life that you envision for yourself. Your physical and emotional space are important to the process of giving birth to your art.

2. Self-care is essential. You must be rested and take care of yourself to have the strength and energy to give birth to something. Honor yourself, believe in your ability as a creative being.

3. Let me repeat: You absolutely must believe in yourself.

4. Breathe. Take deep breaths and relax. Everything is going to be okay. (Massages help!)

5. Get moving. Moving helps move labor along and might just get your creative juices flowing, too. Do something you love—go for a walk, dance, garden, strike a yoga pose.

6. Practice positive affirmations. Some common phrases helpful during birth and creating art are:

I am totally uninhibited.
I free my mind of fear and negativity.
I can do this.
I am celebrating myself and my life.
I relax my mind and body.
I have courage, faith and patience.
I trust my instincts.
I inhale peace I exhale tension.
I am able to completely let go.

7. Accept discomfort. Labor is pain with a purpose. The same can happen in art. Discomfort means you are stretching and growing. Stretch outside your comfort zone because that is where the extraordinary happens.

8. Be patient. Nobody knows how long each labor will take or what path your journey will take. Some are longer and more difficult than others.

I leave you with the same words I say to a woman in labor: You are giving birth to something beautiful. It’s not always easy, but it’s yours. You created something new and gifted it to the world. What does that say about you? You are amazing.

What helps you through the creative process? Do you have positive affirmations or practices to share?

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Carrie Schmitt is an artist and writer who believes in the transformative power of kindness and gratitude. Her paintings, created in her mountain farmhouse in Washington, are known for their color play and vibrant energy. Sometimes she can’t sleep at night because she is so excited to paint the next day. You can check out her website, carrieschmittdesign.com and find her on Facebook and Pinterest.

A Procrastinator’s Guide to Procrastination

“Time’s Ticking” by Heather Foust – click image for info

It’s time to come clean: I’m a planning and productivity geek who procrastinates.

It’s Sunday afternoon, and I have about four hours to write and submit this article. I had plenty of time to work on it this week, but I chose to spend it elsewhere. Now, here I am.

Procrastinating is not my preferred way of working, and it’s certainly not sustainable, but it has, in the past, been very effective. And if you find yourself in the procrastinator’s hot seat, it can be for you, too.

Here are six tips to help make it so:

Stop beating yourself up. It’s a waste of creative energy. You may have left something to the last minute, but you’re still fabulous, competent, and all things good. You know this; claim it and move on.

Ground yourself. It sounds counter-intuitive, but take a few moments to be still, breathe, and clear your mind. Clarity does wonders for productivity.

Get rid of distractions. Shut down email, clear your desk, quickly take care of any nagging loose ends that can be tied up in less than five minutes. Let go of the rest; it can wait. The feat you are about to attempt requires focus.

Focus on the first draft. Remember the magical first draft? It’s time to pull this one out of your productivity toolbox. Give yourself a time limit and go to it; don’t edit, just do. It’s amazing how a time constraint can fuel the creative juices, and how doing without editing can bring out some of our best work. You might be surprised at what comes out!

Take a break. If time permits, once you’ve finished your first draft, take a break. Check email, do the dishes, take the dog for a walk. Step away from your task and come back to it with fresh eyes for the next round of edits.

Let go of your inner perfectionist. If time is short, you may have to adjust your expectations. The end result of what you produce may not be perfect, but it will be good. Sometimes good is good enough.

How do you deal with procrastination? Do you work well under pressure?

Share your tips in the comments below.

Defeating Resistance: The Magical First Draft

Don't sweat the end product; just start your first draft.

Several weeks ago I introduced you to a few favorite games I play to trick myself out of resistance. Here’s another one: The First Draft.

Are you…

  • trying to get your online shop listings done, but don’t know where to start? Start with a first draft.
  • procrastinating on that “slightly-out-of-your-comfort-zone” email query? Start with a first draft.
  • plotting a blog post, but not quite sure how to put your ideas together? Start with a first draft.

Writing isn’t your thing? Not a problem.

Your first draft could be the disjointed mashup of colors on canvas that become the perfect background to your masterpiece. It could be the impromptu snapshot you took with your point & shoot that inspires the series, or the placement of random scraps of fabric that spurs a new color palette.

The first draft is innocuous: it holds no obligations or baggage, and it pays little attention to the end result. You never even have to move it further if you don’t want to.

But, once you have one, you have something to work with – an easy starting point you can refine into a finished product. That’s one step further ahead than you were before.

The first draft is a friendly way to move through resistance.

Is there one calling you today?

A Crowd-Sourced Lullaby

Since I was a little kid, singing and songwriting have given me a way to carry messages and truths in my heart — messages of comfort and courage.  Lullabies are among my favorite ways to share these messages of comfort and courage with others whether in person (or “in-rocking-chair”) or in recordings. There even used to be an Aunt Minna’s Lullaby Line where people could call in and listen to a pre-recorded lullaby.

The more I work on helping people find their own voices and their own songs, the more richness I find in bringing others into the songwriting process. It beautifully blurs the lines between artist and audience and lets people participate in and get nourishment from this work before the ink is even dry. So far, this has happened in concerts and classes and workshops. Then a couple of days ago I unearthed this song-seed:

Bide your time
in a world of sunlight lies
Until the truth of the night arrives.

That was all I had.

And then it occurred to me: I don’t have to wait for a concert or a workshop to bring others into writing the rest of the song with me!

Instead, I just put up a wee post on good ol’ Facebook: “Writing a new lullaby and would love to crowd-source it: What abiding (and/or calming) truth comes with the night? Let me hear you!”

And the most amazing words and images came floating back on the ether. I turned my original song-seed into the chorus and made verses from the words of Catherine Bromberg (aka “my new nephew’s mom”), Sarita-Linda Rocco, and Rabbi Michael Ross (also a new dad!). Have a listen to what I (we!) came up with (as sung into my iPhone while sitting in my parked car, because… why not?)

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Bide your time
in a world of sunlit lies
until the truth of the night arrives
Bide your time
in a world of sunlit lies
and let the truth of the night arise

The trust of love is soft and strong,
soft and strong as silk.
The trust of love is soft and strong
soft and strong as silk the trust of love

Familiar sheets next to your skin
and your prayer-soaked pillow beneath.
Familiar sheets next to your skin
and your prayer-soaked pillow
awakens sleep

It all comes down to I and Thou
at 3:37am.
It all comes down to I and Thou
Deep in the morning it all comes down

Art-making, not to mention life itself, can be lonely work. What are some of the ways you invite others into your work/life?

And if you’d like to add your own verse to “The Truth of the Night” just leave your words in a comment below.