February 5, 2013

Checking Fear at the Door

Fear is the highest fence.

Fear is the highest fence by mrsdkrebs.

I have a frenemy in my life. His name is Fear.

Anyone who knows me knows that I’m always talking about conquering fear, so it’s strange for me to call fear a frenemy, implying that, to some extent, fear is a friend.

Now don’t get me wrong, fear sucks — but I need a healthy amount of fear in my life. Fear is that voice that keeps me in check to some extent.

Fear is the voice that lets me know that I’m doing something challenging.

You can’t be too comfortable in your creative and business pursuits. A little fear lets you know that you’re doing something different. You’re adventuring into new territory. 

The dark side of this is that if you don’t keep fear in check, it can rule you.

Do you ever do any of the following:

  • Not take a risk or try something new because of what could happen.
  • Not follow through on your big idea because you feel like you can’t do it.
  • Diagnose yourself, life, business with the worst case scenario outcome without evidence.

In these cases, fear is ruling you, you are not ruling fear.

Here’s how I keep fear in check in my life: I act.

The more I dwell in my head, the more likely I am to let fear beat me up. So I must take action.

I have the following quote on my office door:

“Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage.  If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Get out and get busy.”
– Dale Carnegie.

How do you give life your all while keeping fear in check? Is there a place for fear in your life?

Filed Under: Plot Notes Tagged With: , 6 Comments
January 21, 2013

Move Through Your Fears With Curiosity and Action

Replace fear with possibility. Approach it with curiosity and action.

These past few weeks I’ve been reflecting on the year past and the many things that materialized for me in 2012. The list is long, ranging from piloted workshops, PDF booklets and new consultation services, to new artwork, new connections, and my contributions here.

Though I know there were many factors at play, in hindsight, I attribute much of my ability to make these things happen to my chosen theme for the year: moving through trepidation with curiosity and action.

This new-to-me approach worked so well, I intend to keep it in my back pocket as I move forward into 2013.

How it works: It’s simple, but not always easy.

When faced with an opportunity that scares you, what if you set out with the goal of replacing fear with possibility, of replacing…

“I could never do that, I’m not ready. It scares me.”
with
“What do I need to do to be ready? Is there a small action I can take and see where that leads?”

“I better not push my luck and do that extra <insert challenging task here>, I’m already pretty tired and I’m new to this.”
with
“How about I try and see how far I can get?”

“Who am I to do <insert idea/initiative/project here>? I’m going to fall flat on my face.”
with
“Just try it and see how it goes. If it flops, re-think it. If it doesn’t, do it again and make it better.”

When faced with uncertainty, instead of worrying about every possible way things could wrong, what if you tried asking yourself*…

“I wonder how this is going to pan out?”

“I wonder how I’ll choose to handle this?”

“Is there anything I can do to increase my chances of making this work?”

(* Thank you Susan Jeffers for this line of wisdom.)

Fear has its place and raison d’être, but often it doesn’t serve us at all.

This way of approaching it encourages gentle risk-taking and releases expectations. At worst it amounts to a lesson learned; at best, it may lead to something better than we ever could have imagined.

Why don’t you try it and see how it all pans out?

Filed Under: Plot Notes Tagged With: , , Leave a Comment
November 14, 2012

Changing Course

All Roads Lead to Somewhere – click for more info

I recently put a post up on my blog telling my readers that I would be taking a 90-day hiatus from blogging.  It was a difficult post to write, but it was also exhilarating.

The blogging sabbatical was meant to give me more time to pursue a different type of writing – fiction.  The art of weaving a story has always felt a bit mysterious to me, like a glittery gift that other people received, nestled into the blanket alongside them when they were delivered to their mother’s arms.  I didn’t think one of these glittery things had accompanied me, and yet I felt this desire to try my hand at creating a fictional world.  In fact, stories and characters forced their way into my brain, asking for attention.  For the most part, I ignored them because, as exciting as fiction seemed, I was already on my way down a writing road.  I had already embarked on one dream – and that was creating a successful blog, something that I had put a lot of myself into.

That I kept feeling the pull to spend my energy elsewhere was either an annoyance or a dismal sign of my incredible fickleness, depending on my mood.  I tried to convince myself that both dreams were on the same path, that blogging was providing the discipline that I needed to be a writer.  The truth was that I spent a lot of time and energy wondering whether one was keeping me from pursuing the other.

So this was what I brought to the table when I spoke a couple weeks ago with a coach who specializes in helping woman reach their creative goals.

After listening to my ambivalence, she challenged me to take 90 days off blogging to pursue writing.  I balked.  How could I let go of the dream I was actually making some progress in?   But my coach reminded me of my own words – that I had always dreamed of being an author and that even letting myself dream it felt bold.

Pursuing something bold, she maintained, requires bold action.

I surprised myself by agreeing to it.

And I was bold.  Not only did I step away from the blog, I joined up with National Novel Writing Month and am now 14,000 words deep into a work of fiction and loving it.  I don’t know whether it’ll be any good.  I don’t know how I’ll feel about the whole venture in a month.  I don’t know whether I’ll go back to the blog.

But I do know that I’m really glad I took the gamble.

I always wanted to be a person who wanted just one thing and went after it.  But the truth is, I’m a person who wants a lot of things, and sometimes that means I have to step away from one dream and step into another.

Who knows where it will lead.

Filed Under: Plot Notes Tagged With: , , 8 Comments
October 25, 2012

Go: Today’s Anti-Procrastination Motivation


Go, just go. Just get up, leave this page, and do it.

What did you want to do today, where did you want to go today? What has been on your mind that you want to do but haven’t done? This is your opportunity to do it!

Procrastination isn’t always bad. Sometimes it helps us — sometimes you need time to mull your idea over or to prepare yourself for what is ahead. But we all have something that we could do right now that we’ve been hesitating on that could be done today.

Sometimes all we have between us and movement is just an excuse: I don’t have the time, I don’t have the energy, I don’t have the motivation.

Well, this is it, my friend. This is your time. What do you want to do?

Call your aunt Janice? Email that job prospect? Write that letter of apology? Register for that community class? Make that list of ideas for your project? Write down your three blessings for today? Buy that book that your friend keeps telling you to read? Put on your tennis shoes and take that one-mile walk? Paint that stain in the kitchen?

Just do one thing.

Doing one thing — ONE THING — that you are not procrastinating on any more… what a difference it can make! It can lead to: further inspiration, a string of getting other things done, that happy-dance of doing it, that sigh of relief, that “Yes, I did it feeling!” — you know the one.

Doing one thing often leads to doing one more. (This is like a chain reaction sometimes. Doing one thing motivates you to do one more.) There are even some great apps out there that can help you list your tasks, and chain or string them together. However, don’t click this link and read about it until after you’ve done your one thing. Today you just have to do ONE THING.

And so I say, one more time: Go, just go. Just get up, leave this page, and do it.

After reading this, what did you get up and do?

Help motivate someone else and let us know what you did or what helps you get up and do the things you need to do!

- – -
P.S. This is my first Scoutie Girl post, and I’m delighted to join some fabulous inspirational crafters, entrepreneurs, writers, innovators, thinkers and creators in bringing you daily motivation for your work and play.  Thanks for letting me be a part of adding inspiration to your day!

Filed Under: Plot Notes Tagged With: , , 14 Comments
August 27, 2012

Push, or putter?

Pies: A Product of Putter

Puttering may lead to pies – or paperwork.

I often struggle in reconciling planned action and setting goals with intuitive action and letting things unfold.

Sometimes I’m all about goals and to-do lists, working in fast and furious bursts of energy. This gives me momentum and confidence in my ability to set a goal, and do what needs to be done to meet it. Knowing I can do this is extremely empowering, and it gets things done.

Other times I need a softer stance to get through the work day, week, or even month, so I try something different: I putter.

Puttering’s definition gives it a bit of a bad rap, implying that it’s random and ineffective. I’ve chosen to re-appropriate the word and use it to imply activity that’s intuition-based and easy; not so random and often very effective. Language enthusiasts, please don’t hold it against me.

When I putter, I set micro-goals that stem from insights (I think cleaning my desk would be a good idea today.), or make micro-decisions based on gut feel (Which task is calling out to me right now?). Then I trust that I’m doing the right thing.

Often this leads to stuff like doing the dishes, folding the laundry, weeding the garden… but it might also lead to writing a blog post, drafting a service description, or filing receipts.

No matter where it leads, it’s gentle and spacious and can be just as productive as working toward set goals.

When it comes to goals, there’s a time to push, and a time to putter.

One complements the other.

Which one would work best for you today?

Filed Under: Buy You, For You Tagged With: , , 4 Comments