I recently put a post up on my blog telling my readers that I would be taking a 90-day hiatus from blogging. It was a difficult post to write, but it was also exhilarating.
The blogging sabbatical was meant to give me more time to pursue a different type of writing – fiction. The art of weaving a story has always felt a bit mysterious to me, like a glittery gift that other people received, nestled into the blanket alongside them when they were delivered to their mother’s arms. I didn’t think one of these glittery things had accompanied me, and yet I felt this desire to try my hand at creating a fictional world. In fact, stories and characters forced their way into my brain, asking for attention. For the most part, I ignored them because, as exciting as fiction seemed, I was already on my way down a writing road. I had already embarked on one dream – and that was creating a successful blog, something that I had put a lot of myself into.
That I kept feeling the pull to spend my energy elsewhere was either an annoyance or a dismal sign of my incredible fickleness, depending on my mood. I tried to convince myself that both dreams were on the same path, that blogging was providing the discipline that I needed to be a writer. The truth was that I spent a lot of time and energy wondering whether one was keeping me from pursuing the other.
So this was what I brought to the table when I spoke a couple weeks ago with a coach who specializes in helping woman reach their creative goals.
After listening to my ambivalence, she challenged me to take 90 days off blogging to pursue writing. I balked. How could I let go of the dream I was actually making some progress in? But my coach reminded me of my own words – that I had always dreamed of being an author and that even letting myself dream it felt bold.
Pursuing something bold, she maintained, requires bold action.
I surprised myself by agreeing to it.
And I was bold. Not only did I step away from the blog, I joined up with National Novel Writing Month and am now 14,000 words deep into a work of fiction and loving it. I don’t know whether it’ll be any good. I don’t know how I’ll feel about the whole venture in a month. I don’t know whether I’ll go back to the blog.
But I do know that I’m really glad I took the gamble.
I always wanted to be a person who wanted just one thing and went after it. But the truth is, I’m a person who wants a lot of things, and sometimes that means I have to step away from one dream and step into another.
Who knows where it will lead.