Changing Course

All Roads Lead to Somewhere – click for more info

I recently put a post up on my blog telling my readers that I would be taking a 90-day hiatus from blogging.  It was a difficult post to write, but it was also exhilarating.

The blogging sabbatical was meant to give me more time to pursue a different type of writing – fiction.  The art of weaving a story has always felt a bit mysterious to me, like a glittery gift that other people received, nestled into the blanket alongside them when they were delivered to their mother’s arms.  I didn’t think one of these glittery things had accompanied me, and yet I felt this desire to try my hand at creating a fictional world.  In fact, stories and characters forced their way into my brain, asking for attention.  For the most part, I ignored them because, as exciting as fiction seemed, I was already on my way down a writing road.  I had already embarked on one dream – and that was creating a successful blog, something that I had put a lot of myself into.

That I kept feeling the pull to spend my energy elsewhere was either an annoyance or a dismal sign of my incredible fickleness, depending on my mood.  I tried to convince myself that both dreams were on the same path, that blogging was providing the discipline that I needed to be a writer.  The truth was that I spent a lot of time and energy wondering whether one was keeping me from pursuing the other.

So this was what I brought to the table when I spoke a couple weeks ago with a coach who specializes in helping woman reach their creative goals.

After listening to my ambivalence, she challenged me to take 90 days off blogging to pursue writing.  I balked.  How could I let go of the dream I was actually making some progress in?   But my coach reminded me of my own words – that I had always dreamed of being an author and that even letting myself dream it felt bold.

Pursuing something bold, she maintained, requires bold action.

I surprised myself by agreeing to it.

And I was bold.  Not only did I step away from the blog, I joined up with National Novel Writing Month and am now 14,000 words deep into a work of fiction and loving it.  I don’t know whether it’ll be any good.  I don’t know how I’ll feel about the whole venture in a month.  I don’t know whether I’ll go back to the blog.

But I do know that I’m really glad I took the gamble.

I always wanted to be a person who wanted just one thing and went after it.  But the truth is, I’m a person who wants a lot of things, and sometimes that means I have to step away from one dream and step into another.

Who knows where it will lead.

Election Day Lessons from a Creative Aunt

 Election Day Lessons from a Creative Aunt

photo by Vox Efx – click image

Today I take my six-year-old nephew to the polls with me as I vote.

I take him not to tell him which party to support. I’ll leave that decision up to him when he’s old enough to evaluate things for himself. I take him to teach him three heart-felt life lessons that will serve him no matter if he decides to live in America, Japan, or the native land of his mother, Nigeria.

Voting is an outward expression of an interior belief.

How many of us believe things so strongly that we aren’t afraid to express those beliefs?

In the judgement-free zone of the voting booth, we can freely express that belief in a constructive manner. And we should revel in these moments.

Your vote is as private as you want it to be. The poll volunteers won’t grade your ballot. You are free to support whom you want. And with that vote you are expressing your belief that your choice is the best choice.

Belief, conviction, and the proper expression of that conviction serve us in so many areas of life.

Voting is an active commitment towards an outcome.

Voting is not just an expression of a belief. It’s support for a particular issue or candidate. And a commitment to a projected outcome. Some people choose not to vote, for whatever reason, but it’s my belief that lack of commitment to an outcome is indeed a form of commitment.

Omission or commission, what decisions are you making in your life?

Voting is a right and a privilege to be acknowledged.

I’m blessed to know many people who weren’t born in the US who speak freely and openly about the opportunities our nation provides.

I’m also blessed to know many people who were born in the US, have experienced injustice, failed systems, corrupt practices, and still believe in our nation. These people believe in America, not because we are perfect – because, clearly, what nation is perfect – but because despite our flaws, they see the beauty and opportunity.

They participate in the rights and privileges of our system as they can – even the rights and privileges many see as a hassle, whether it be voting or serving jury duty.

They believe by contributing to our community in a healthy, proactive, and inspired way, they can enact positive change and improvement.

Whether you cast your ballot today, or if you’ve already voted, think about how voting is more than just support for a candidate, but a lesson for life.

Happy Election Day.

Twilight of the Elites: America After Meritocracy

When I got the idea to read this book, it was not yet released but being hyped everywhere. It seemed I couldn’t watch a news broadcast or commentator without hearing about it. I had been watching Chris Hayes’ show for a few months, and am really impressed by the diversity of his guests and the real questions he asks about society, people, and government.

It has taken me since Twilight of the Elites: America after Meritocracy was released in June finally to get through it. Some sections I have read three, four, five times. I keep returning to it, though I have devoured all the information once already. What astounds me most about this book is its brave simplicity: the system we have been using for decades is not working for the vast majority, and we need to examine that system and fundamentally fix it, or use something new.

The sentence that I have repeated to myself since I first read it, and one of the core ideas behind the book, is this:

“all the smart people f**ked up, and no one seems willing to take responsibility.”

Meritocracy is a simple concept: it is the rule of those who are deemed to have higher ability, greater skill, or other measurable talent over others. Those who are chosen as talented move ahead, and those with lesser talent and skill are given fewer, different opportunities. This might be in politics, but truly it is seen everywhere: education, healthcare, athletics, even friendships and cliques. With greater talent comes greater value to society, and therefore more opportunities.

But what if you are an undiscovered talent? What if you are a genius from a poor family, and unlike other kids don’t have resources through schools or private funding to release your brilliance? Or an entrepreneur with an incredible life-changing idea but lack the funding/connections/tools to put your idea into the world?

This is why meritocracy doesn’t work.

Twilight of the Elites: America After Meritocracy is about all this. It’s a history of an American way of living that American society grew out of. It’s a lesson in what doesn’t necessarily work (only providing opportunities to the selected ones proves to deny society of a vast wealth of brilliance), and a suggestion for how to move forward.

But perhaps more important to me than the history, or the possibilities, is the question. How do we recognize those who have incredible contributions to society, even (especially) when they don’t match our preconceived notions of who should be making contributions at that level?

How do we open to the awesome possibility that surrounds us?

Chris Hayes’ book was so much more than a large-scale examination of American culture. I experienced this read as a call to reflect on my choices and approaches to advancement. How do I prevent myself from moving to the next level of opportunity? How do I choose one person over another for an offer? How do I place value on my clients, on my customers, based on perceived merit?

These aren’t easy questions. They are rather painful to ask, and even more challenging to answer. This reflection, however, gives me a chance to directly contribute to a society that offers new value and new ideas for the greater good of the whole.

What could be better than making real, positive change in the world?

The Cosby Show Lied to Me: My New View on Balance

The Cosby Show Lied to Me: My New View on Balance Tivi Jones

“Physics in Sepia” by chefranden – click for info

I’ll admit it.

When I started my business in 2010, I was motivated by the idea of having “it all.”

Whatever “it all” was at the time.

An awesome family, a stellar career, passion to spare, money to burn and time for me, myself and I.

I’d have a successful career from home and be able to raise a family and keep my husband happy at the same time.

And any problems that arose could magically be solved with sitcom-mom-ease, because I had Clair Huxtable fierceness.

I would finally live peacefully in Perfect-town.

It was an amazing dream.

Two years later, I’m in the middle of a divorce, albeit an amicable one, and I often wonder if I’m doing the “right thing” in my business.

Tivi of 2010 would probably look at the Tivi of now and think, “Crap, we failed. Miserably.” But that chick was operating with a Cosby Show-esque view of balance.

That girl thought balance or the “perfect life” was a destination.

I believe “having it all” to be a journey.

The old me thought of balance as a stagnant state. Like a lamp sitting on a dresser or a picture hanging level on a wall.

It’s perfect. It’s even on all sides. It’s balanced.

It’s boring.

Now I see balance as being like a spinning top.

A top spins and balances because it has momentum. The universe and all its forces hit that spinning top from all angles. Air currents flow around it and it uses these currents and forces to keep moving.

It balances (present tense, not past tense). It’s active. It moves. It’s dynamic.

I want a life that’s balanced because it’s dynamic, not because it’s still or, worse, done.

I now believe balance to be the ability to take life as it is and create enough momentum to keep spinning.

I believe if I stay dynamic, keep moving, and work with the forces around me, instead of against them, I’ll create my own dynamically balanced life.

What’s your view on balance? And how do you maintain your momentum?

The Perception of What You Hear

image by StoicDesign – click for info

It’s always interesting how people perceive things within themselves, as well as things outside themselves. You see a tree, and I see the roots deeply implanted in the ground, stretched beneath the earth, pushing out in all directions. I see the large trunk that I know is rough to touch, and can feel it without my hand ever meeting its surface. I see the branches that scatter aimlessly in all directions hovering above, the leaves that live and those that fall – consequences of time, age, or simply just the way of things. I take in the smell that brings about a sense of calm, that reminds me of being raw, at peace. Silence, the wind, and the desire to be perpetually in that moment.

You see, lately I keep having experiences where I feel like my perception of what is happening is far different from other people’s. And that’s perfectly alright. For some reason, instead of doing my reflecting when the new year arrives, I always start to look deeper at things come fall.

Perhaps it’s the leaves changing, or the sense of routine that comes back to me once fall hits, but it always gets me to slow down a bit, observe more, and just really take it all in.

I’m always creating music lists come fall, so I thought I’d share some of my favorite songs that I always seem to bring back into my life around this time of year. Listen to one, or a few, or even them all.

Ben Harper – Walk Away
Erich Hutchinson – All Over Now
John Legend – Ordinary People
Bell X1 – The Apple of my Eye
Kate Walsh – Tonight
Mindy Smith – One Moment
Patrick Park – Life is a Song
Ron Pope – Seven English Girls
Matt Nathanson – Still
The Civil Wars – Poison and Wine
Laura Marling – Ghosts
Ben Lee – We’re All in This Together
Ron Pope – Headlights on the Highway
Laura Jansen – Use Somebody
Ben Kweller – Thirteen
Caitlin Rose – Things Change

And perhaps you’ll like a song off this list, and someone else won’t. But that’s the beauty of it – we all perceive things so differently. And instead of being concerned about my perceptions being “off “lately, I’ve started to embrace how I see things differently from others – because that’s something I get to own, and that’s a pretty exciting thing.

Own your perceptions, enjoy them, celebrate them, and value that they may be tremendously different than the perceptions of everyone you know.