My word I chose for this year was RISK. I was finishing grad school this year, and with that came a lot of possibility, and lot of unknowns about what came next. What I did know was that I didn’t want to become a version of me that chose safe options, as to avoid being vulnerable. I didn’t want to be the person that was only making choices because they lined up in my head with the plan that I had decided I needed to follow.
I would say the biggest way I’ve embraced RISK this year, is by allowing myself to be open. I’ve allowed myself to be open to sharing my story with others, even the stuff that’s messy and makes me human. I’ve been open to the idea that I don’t have to know right this minute what I want to do for the rest of my life, and that it’s not too late to explore things that have always interested me. I’m open to the fact that I still don’t know a lot, but that I probably know more than I give myself credit for.
I think being open to ourselves, the process, and the world is one of the biggest risks we can take. I also think that it’s terrifying, because it opens us up to the possibility of hurt, and none of us like to set ourselves up for that.
There are times this year where I probably could have done a better job of risking, or pushed myself to be a bit more open, but for some reason or another chose not to. Simply choosing RISK as my word this year, doesn’t take away my fear of risking and making the wrong choice, or of being open and getting shut down in the most painful way. But you know what it has done? It has gotten me to think about the choices I make, and how they contribute to how everything plays out. I have realized that I can spend my life making safe choices, choices that align with what society tells me to value or, I can sometimes choose the risky option and run with it, knowing that in my gut it’s what feels right.
The year isn’t over yet. I still have plenty of time to cling to risk and push myself to be open.