I gathered a tuft of soft, fine hair between my fingers. Deep breath. Snip.
No more loose curls. No more sassy little toddler bob. Just soft little spikes & a gaping void where she’d pulled out the uncertainty of moving house.
One moment from the last year that will stick with me is the moment I had to cut off all of Lola’s hair.
Why us? Why her? What did we do? What didn’t we do?
I knew in that moment all the excuses & explanations I would have to make for her unconventional – and, well, startling – appearance.
It’s growing back now. Finally a bit longer than mine. With her fine features and thin frame, she’s like a little toddler Twiggy. Having lived with this short-haired beauty for 6 months now, I’m used to the short hair.
I look back on the pictures of her long hair and find it so ordinary. She’s anything but.
Maybe having to cut off her hair was just another reminder of how special she really is.
As Lola has gotten a little older, it’s been very easy to see the wonder in everyday life. So pardon me if I’m always a bit sanguine.
One of Lola’s best exclamations is “Look, Mommy! Wow!” It must be said that “wow” has no less than 5 syllables each time she says it.
It’s easy to get bogged down in the comings & goings, the work, the tantrums and troubles of being a parent. But being a mom of a toddler brings a sense of wonder into each and every day.
Just yesterday, as Mike & I were trimming the tree – and I was consequently running to Target for new lights – I thought about how awe-some it would be when she same down the steps after her nap, taking in the twinkly glow for the first time as a 2 and a half year old. How many more times would she exclaim, “Look, Mommy! Wow!”?
As long as I see the world through Lola’s eyes, wonder will never be far away.
What have I let go of this year? Scarcity.
I’ve let go of a scarcity in all things and have found abundance in its place. I’ve let go of my own desire to struggle with money. I’ve let go of my need to wrestle away moments of my own time. I’ve let go of thinking that others around me have little or less.
What was lacking now runs over. What was scant is now plentiful.
This mighty mental transition is now a daily reminder to let go of doubt & embrace my own ability to produce what I need.
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