making the choice – or – go scuba diving for pearls of resentment

Exactly what i want

I love my creative business. I enjoy it while I’m working, and it’s often what I’m thinking about when I’m doing something else. On some level, I’m always scanning my surroundings for a sound or an image that will spark an idea.

Sound familiar?

I love my creative business, but deep deep down, while doing some inner scuba diving recently, I found a tiny pearl of resentment. A resentment toward my work, my passion work, my love!

I resented the constant-ness of it all, the neverending-ness, and I realized that I wanted a break. I needed to unplug, big time.

My immediate thought was: “A break! How unrealistic! I won’t get things done! I’ll lose pageviews! And sales! Must…keep…going…”

Then it hit me. I’d forgotten a huge part of what drew me to this work in the first place: self-determination. The ability to design my life in exactly the way I wanted it.

Sometimes it’s easy for me to forget the extent to which I have choice in my life. I’ve chosen, and keep choosing, my work. And my home. My relationships. How I spend my time. I renew these choices every day.

In this light, finding a way to get myself some recalibration, relaxation, and exploration was easy. I knew I needed a week of deep unplugging from anything with a screen, from any business commitments. To completely let go of my business mentally and emotionally.

I looked at my calendar and after some shuffling, thinking, crossing-out and doing-ahead, that week is there. It’s happening right between Christmas and the New Year. I can’t wait to snuggle up under blankets, read novels, and drink hot cocoa.

When I first wrote this post, I thought my Creative Call to Action would be ‘take a break,’ Renew. Recharge your creativity. Enjoy this special time of year. All good things, but I realized that taking time off is really about self-determination. Choice. Life design. Remembering why I do the work I do in the first place.

What do you want?

Is there something you desire that you are keeping from yourself in the name of your work? Do you ever find yourself saying, “That’s unrealistic” or “I can’t do that,” or “That will never happen”?

Here’s my Creative Call to Action to you this week: Go inner scuba diving for any tiny pearls of resentment toward your creative work or business. Listen for your “I-can’ts” or “totally-unrealistics.” Find out what they are.

Next, I encourage you to look at your life through the lens of choice. What do you want to change, what do you want to keep the same?

Your life is a creative act that you can design as you please. Nudge it, move it, shuffle it, dream it. Make it yours.

And for goodness sake, take a break this season if you need one, too! You can join me in the backyard for some hot cocoa and snow angels.

xoxo Maeg

9 thoughts on “making the choice – or – go scuba diving for pearls of resentment

  1. Thank you for the challenge to evaluate the choices I make everyday. Sometimes I make the choices without thinking about them! Now I am going to try to take time to think before I choose! Good call on the break! Enjoy! Merry Christmas!

  2. Oh yeah … running on automatic pilot, one of my sins, sometimes. Thanks, Maeg, for the reminder to stop and evaluate. We DO have more choices than we allow ourselves. I think we tend to pigeon-hole ourselves based on how others start to perceive us and then it’s just too easy to stay that course even if it doesn’t feel right.

  3. This is a great article and a lesson I think most of us forget all the time. I recently had a similar self evaluation and have completely changed my focus and direction for 2012. I couldn’t be happier, or more enthusiastic!

  4. I was just thinking about this a day ago – Carol I totally agree about the ‘pigeon hole effect’…. my problem is the constant need for design perfection : ( Sometimes however I must remind myself that art needs to be free from constraints e.g; planning, time-lines, schedules and pressures. The more I pressure myself the more I either get ‘artists-block’ or make silly mistakes. We should live to design and not the other way around : ) Happy hols from London!

    P.s fab site, shared, liked, loved!

  5. Thank you for this Maeg! I love your inner scuba diving metaphor! I am so, so lucky to have two weeks off at the end of the year. Originally I was going to spend my first week completely unplugged and beach side (which I did!) and my second week working on my creative stuff LIKE A CRAZY PERSON. Guess what? Three days into my second week off and I’m still on vacation. Going to see movies, reading novels, having dinner with friends…it’s 11AM on a Wednesday and I’m still in my PJs! I haven’t felt guilty about it all week, and your post just put into words so succinctly what my brain and body have been telling me. Thanks for sharing this, I think we all really need to hear it sometimes.

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