Hmm, what does that mean in a time and place where the “labor” force is disappearing, many are out of work, and many are creating their own work, which feels more like esprit de me, myself and I. Excuse me if I am a bit cranky today. It has been an interesting summer of wild weather, falling trees, mystical messages, and wasps. Oh, and, redesigning my website and searching for new direction in my work. Work that pays in particular would be nice.
So I sit writing this while many of my fellow Americans are having a last weekend at the beach, camping, or just hanging out and overindulging in beer and barbecue. Not to mention sales. Of course, any federal holiday brings on the sales. Don’t get me wrong, I am not begrudging that I am home writing. We had the beer and barbecue thing last night, I have had my time at the beach, and I don’t want to go camping. Rather, I am upset with myself because I spent most of the summer futzing with my website and I am not done. No Labor Day sales for me. What happened?
I have shared with you in previous posts my many iterations of artist, and my summer spent finding my voice, and branding myself. This was both easier and more difficult than I anticipated, thus being not quite there by the Labor Day finish I scheduled.
If I had payed closer attention to the wasps I may not be writing this cranky admission.
In June my husband discovered a small hole in a window casing outside my studio where yellow jackets were eagerly entering. Solution: plug the hole, trap the wasps, they die. NOT! It turns out that if they can’t get out the way they came in they find another way. Often in the house. The next day I had a steady flow of winged fury with stingers in my studio.
Now anyone that knows me knows I am a pacifist, particularly where animals are concerned, but after the first sting I took to the fly swatter. The traffic increased to the point I could not work so I decided it would be good to try unplugging the hole. This was a good idea except for the fact that there were many irate wasps right on the other side of that plug. I only got it part way out before fleeing and eight more stings. I called Steve and he came home to finish the job, which in the end worked, but I was quite flustered by the experience.
I thought to myself, what can I learn from this? My thoughts were that these are extremely determined, industrious, and organized insects. They work to the death to get the job done. I could use some of that mojo sans the death part.
I made lists, and giant wall calendars to post my daily tasks, and things were going great. I was as industrious and organized as any wasp until the cicada killers arrived.
Major distraction, as if the buzz of the cicadas were not enough. When you see numerous 1 1/2 inch wasps congregating in your garden just after the yellow jacket scenario, you become concerned. Long story short, they are fairly harmless if you are not a cicada, and as hard working as the yellow jackets. I got back to work and spent a month working with Laura Simms at Create as Folk. We defined my brand, target customer, and design strategy for the web site. Three weeks to go and just the technical stuff to do.
I was golden. Plenty of time. NOT. At least not when you drag your feet and put off the stuff that is hard. The stuff that does not come naturally. The stuff you maybe need help with, but don’t ask. The stuff that requires extra wasp power. On Friday, when I realized I was not going to be anywhere near done by Monday, I told myself it was OK. I have most of the design work done, and new about pages, and work to post, and new services (gasp) to offer. I am ready to start blogging again with a four-day-a-week topic series. I can write about my experience as I move on with the new shopping software and have a big sale to open shop! It’s all good right? Perhaps, but the wasps were not done with me yet.
Last night we were at a friend’s for an annual pool party that had been twice postponed due to weather anomalies and consequent fallen trees. I was interested in the remains of the tree and began taking pictures when I saw this:
I kid you not, it was as big as what you see here. I am not superstitious, but a sign is a sign. I love symbolism, metaphors, and archetypal imagery, so I decided to find out if the wasp carries any lore. It turns out that the wasp is a symbolic of:
This is an admittedly odd post but I have a decent ending. Sometimes solutions, or at least good prompts, come in surprising ways. My wasp teachers have some wise questions to ask.
Because the wasp is symbolic of communication, order, and productivity, those who encounter the wasp may ask themselves:
- “Are all my affairs in order?”
- “Am I aligning myself with my goals?”
- “Am I procrastinating about something?”
- “Am I keeping myself from reaching my highest potential?”
- “Am I allowing my progress to be held back by others?”
I regret to admit my answers are not what I’d like to a few of these, poor communication and fear of potential topping the list.
So I wonder: What is your experience of not finishing and justifying it? Do you hold yourself back from your best work for any reason? Why?
BTW I will posting my first blog on the new website tomorrow at 1pm EST. Feedback encouraged!
P.S. In my next life I may be an Entomologist.