I was never a fan of complaining.
I always thought that instead of B&Ming the person could be working to improve the situation they were complaining about.
My view on complaining could be captured perfectly by the following quote. I can’t remember who said it (possibly Lara Casey), so I’m paraphrasing:
“Every complaint you have is a request that you haven’t made.”
I now see the value in a little bit of healthy complaining.
A nice, healthy B&Ming session can help you:
- Identify the pain points in your life or business.
- purge pinned up emotion.
- vocalize any lingering feelings of discontent.
B&Ming in a way that is reflective and focused on identifying the issues is the first step to turning the issues around.
Here are a few tips to making complaining work for you.
1. Purge at night.
Sometimes I find my mind racing a million miles a minute when I get into bed at night. I have so much to worry about, so many things to do, and so many things to improve. Does it help me to just lay there for 20 minutes, running through all these things in my head? Not at all.
I find what helps me identify my major complaints and helps me get to sleep faster is to purge my brain before bed. I either pull out my journal or fire up my laptop, open Evernote or Day One and I write out the issues I’m having. It’s not pretty. In fact, it’s often vomit-like stream of consciousness writing, but it helps me purge enough to enjoy an extra 20 minutes of sleep or sneak in a few pages of a romance novel.
The most important part about this whole purging process?
Identifying your top 3 issues and bolding, starring, circling, and highlighting them. Or drop them into Things for the next day.
2. Fix in the morning.
First thing you do when you wake up in the morning? Review that purge list from the night before and work to eliminate as many of those pain points as you can. Hit those big three items.
If it’s really important, do it first thing in the morning.
Just get it freakin’ done. Don’t waste your time purging at night if you’re not going to do anything about it as soon as you can.
3. Keep a log of your purgings.
Keep a record of your purgings (not a word, but whatever). These records aren’t just for comic relief five years later, but for you to see your progression.
What things are consistently on your list night after night, day after day? That’s the crap you need to be doing now. Why are you avoiding it? Is it something little, something big, or just something that is scary to you?
Don’t be afraid to do the tough work that will make your life easier.
4. Recognize and record when you complain.
Be conscious of your thoughts and your emotions throughout the day.
“We choose our thoughts, therefore we choose our experiences. Choose wisely.”
— Judy Halliwell, wellness therapist
If ever you find yourself complaining about something in your personal life or job, take note of it.
Look at complaints as opportunities, not roadblocks.
What is one complaint you currently have about your life or business? How can you eliminate it?