My 10 year high school reunion was on Friday. I had been planning on going since the summer. But once the email went out, telling us how to buy tickets and RSVP, I just couldn’t commit.
This huge part of me really wanted to go.
But I just couldn’t picture myself there. With those people.
I wanted to experience the “10 years later” vibe. I wanted to ask people what they’re doing now and, of course, tell them what I do. I wanted to have conversations about universities and failed job searches and well-deserved promotions.
My husband did not want to go – let’s not forget that I went to his 15 year reunion 2 years ago, leaving a crying infant at home. But I didn’t want him to be miserable. You wouldn’t like him when he’s miserable.
Go by myself? No doubt I would have found the nearest wall in need of a good propping up and done my best to keep it upright.
Yeah, it shouldn’t really be that hard.
And it isn’t.
You don’t see me being a wall flower around these parts, do you?
High school wasn’t a great time for me – like so many. I was successful and well-known but hardly well-liked. High school was 4 years of surviving in a sea of teenagers who weren’t “my people.” I wanted to go to my reunion to gain approval from people who, most likely, are still not “my people.”
I have people. You’re right here. You’re at the events I do attend and on the digital streams I frequent. You’re even on my iPhone and on autopilot when I get in my car.
I am constantly surrounded by love & support. Why seek approval from people who aren’t hard-wired to care about my hard wiring?
That’s why high school sucked.
And why my life now is so rad.
Yep, I wanted to go – but everything I need is right here.