Growth. It’s not all grace and epiphany.

Congruence. Alignment. Growth. Creating the life you want, creating a life that reflects your values.

These are some of the things we’ve been talking about at Scoutie Girl lately. It’s hard work. I know, because I’ve been doing it. Shifting the tectonic plates. Realigning my planets. It’s no easy feat — even just on the internal level.

I’ve been expanding, stretching, digging deep. Having epiphanies and getting my yoga on. Seeking wise mentors. Making some very satisfying creative work. I’ve been feeling wide open, expansive, bright, and vital.

I’ve also been reaching out for old habits and behaviors. Comfort food instead of green juice. Arguments instead of taking a deep breath. I’ve been experiencing emotional eruptions that surprise even myself.

I’ve been growing and changing and learning. I’ve also been shaking my fists and regressing.

I thought that these two states were counter to each other. Then I realized that they belong together. Counterbalance.

The messy stuff doesn’t negate the good stuff. The messy stuff is just a call for comfort.

Old habits and old ways of being — for better or for worse, they are known entities. They are soothing and familiar at a time when everything is fresh, new, exhilarating but unknown.

Growth isn’t all grace and epiphany. There’s a reason why caterpillars build themselves a cocoon before they change into butterflies.

Growth and change can be messy. Growth and change can demand comfort, privacy, and protection.

My mind and my body are looking out for me (yours, too!). They are looking for ways to provide that comfort and release, be it tater tots, a good cry, or sleeping in late. They are reaching for things I know — even if they’re not what I want right now.

I’m committing to consciously providing myself healthy comfort. To look for ways to support myself ahead of time as well as in the moment. And to be forgiving of whatever messy stuff does come up — to observe it without judgement.

What might little bits of comfort look like? I’ll be seeking out things that make me laugh. Making dates with blankets and tea. Seeking more time on the yoga mat. Creating rituals of leisure. Turning off my computer and hiding my phone. Going to bed early and in my favorite jammies.

Are you going through a period of growth and change, too? Are you working to create the life you want — both inside and out?

It’s okay to give yourself space to honor this growth and change and acknowledge how momentous it is.

It’s okay to rest and comfort yourself, consciously, in ways that feel congruent with the great work you are doing.

xoxo Maeg

19 thoughts on “Growth. It’s not all grace and epiphany.

  1. Wow. It is as if you had written this post for me & about me. I am going through something similar. Figuring out my place in this life, expanding, moving forward but also regressing to old & bad habits/patterns. Relying on junk food, not moving my body or getting enough sleep. Getting stuck in a vicious cycle of negativity, guilt & shame. Thank you for shining a light on what this means & for reminding me that this is life.

    1. Thanks, Danielle!

      I felt a huge relief as soon as I realized the connection between the intense growth and the intense stress I was feeling! It feels wonderful to be proactive in being kind to myself while doing some really important work. xo

  2. Thanks Meg. I agree with the Steph and Danielle. It’s so comforting to hear there are others in the same boat. Two steps forward, one step back. That’s what progress looks like.

  3. What a perfect post to read this morning. Transformation is hard work, made even harder when we don’t allow ourselves to rest and nurture ourselves. Thanks for giving me a dose of permission to do just that.

  4. I love the line “there’s a reason why caterpillars build themselves a cocoon before they become butterflies”. It is so true. Thank you for this article it really hit home after a crazy day of juggling and struggling with comfort and seeking change!

  5. Hooray for counterbalance. What a great way to think about change Maeg. And the best part is the rejuvenation and renewed excitement that that counterbalance eventually brings. Here’s to enjoying being the patient caterpillar.

  6. The good news is: My cartoon business is growing. The bad news is: My cartoon business is growing. Some days it grows too slowly, others it grows too fast–sometimes it does both in the same day. Nothing is exactly the way I want or plan it. I find myself indulging in caffeine and sugar while pulling an allnighter. And I have to deal with deadlines, expenses and two part-time “real” jobs while ideas keep swirling in my head. LIFE IS GOOD!!!

  7. Yes.

    And to this: “Growth isn’t all grace and epiphany. There’s a reason why caterpillars build themselves a cocoon before they change into butterflies.” I would add: There is a period of time when you are in a cocoon where you dissolve. You turn into goo before you begin to re-form and transform into what will eventually emerge. I am not fond of this part of the process most of the time, but when I embrace it, I sometimes recall to be kind to myself, to allow that comfort and release.

    Thank you for sharing this!

    1. Oh, Mara Eve–

      Thank you. I love that. I’ve described it to my husband as feeling like my brain is a deck of cards that’s been tossed loose in the air…and they haven’t landed yet.

      Thank you for completing the metaphorical connections there. So, so, beautiful.

      xo

  8. Thank you!

    I was feeling like a bit of a failure for being so emotional and erratic lately. Everything is changing in an extrordinary way, all in good ways but it’s very scary sometimes, going out on a limb. More looking after myself and less judgy pants when I just need time to breathe :)

    Beautiful post :)

  9. This is exactly what I needed today…what a gift!!! I can’t thank you enough…you made my day. Greetings and love from Madrid. :)

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