stopwatch digital image for fabric transfer by Graphic Variete on Etsy – click image for info

In my previous post I extolled the power of purging inclusively to help me declutter and keep only what serves me.

Today I sing the praises of the 15-Minute Blitz to help me physically get the task done.

A perfect companion to purging inclusively, the 15-Minute Blitz is simple: set a timer for 15 minutes (I use the oven timer) and dedicate your full attention to the area you want to tackle until the buzzer sounds.

Don’t worry about the end result. Just do — without distractions — for 15 minutes and let yourself be astonished at how much you can accomplish in such a short amount of time.

Low effort, high, immediate impact. You can’t lose.

When it comes to decluttering, purging inclusively helps you keep the right things. The 15-Minute Blitz helps you actually get the work done.

The two pack a powerful and productive punch in clearing your space, whatever your motive.

Try it, you won’t be disappointed.

I try to organize files and folders on my computer (as much as a creative, right-brainer can); however, I do keep one folder that I don’t organize on purpose. I call it my “Inspiration Chest.”

This folder is for things I find on the web or in my work or while reading that instantly hit me as “wonderful.” For some people this might be a chest or a box or a peg board. Mostly, in my folder I keep snapshots of things I just think are cool, or that I find really meaningful or inspirational. These aren’t things I want to keep on Pinterest or on a blog because these are things just for me. My secret stash.

I use it to take record of my subconscious, and to create a “stream” of flowing ideas that help me in times when I’m stuck and when I want to remember what truly inspires me.

I’ve been keeping this “chest” for over a year. Just recently I went back to it to find some interesting trends in the elements I saved.

There are hundreds of images and links in this folder… but the themes I found were: images of old barns and rural places, images of spores and microbes, quirky antique sketches, and design ideas saturated with color.

It’s helpful to look back at what I’ve collected to better define my own aesthetic in the midst of doing creative projects for others.

Sometimes we as creative people can lose “ourselves” in the midst of work or daily life.

It helps to have a collection of things that define you and spring you forward.

Do you do something similar? If you have tried to created “Inspiration Chest” of your own, what new things have you found out about yourself because of this practice?

If you haven’t tried it, why not start now and share with us what your process is like?

Red Buoy on the Beach By piffle pyramid

I refuse to be your everything.

Being your everything clutters my mental space with the idea that I can think like you in order to anticipate your needs. In order to keep you happy.

This leaves me drained, empty, upset, unappreciated, and unfulfilled.

I’m a task rabbit, hopping to keep you happy and you take it for granted.

And I allow it, because I know you need me — at least that’s what you say when threatened with my leaving.

I refuse to be your everything, because who are you in this equation?

Who are you to be?

How could I possibly be the everything for someone who doesn’t know who they are?

Being your everything leaves me feeling shaky, unbalanced, and unsure because you aren’t moored to your own baseline.

How the hell are we both supposed to find our footing, when you aren’t anchored to anything?

I refuse to be your everything, because I need to save something I can be for myself.

By being your everything, I can’t be good at any one thing.

Jane of all trades, a master of none.

By being your everything, I can’t be good at being me.

I want to be a master of being me.

I want to be the everything for me.

So I refuse to be your everything.

Improvise ring – orangeboxjewelry. Click image for details.

“You did what? Eegh. Ack. Urggh. WHY?”

This was a snippet of a conversation I had with a friend at Uni after she had told me that she had very kindly informed my “crush” that I liked him. It wouldn’t have been that bad, but this was the exact same “crush” who she was now “going out with.”

I don’t remember her answer to my “WHY?” I do remember that my cheeks felt like the red hot embers of a dying fire, and my ears were ringing with one hundred decibels of embarrassment. And I do remember wanting to slap her. It was a fleeting thought. Of sorts.

The conversation came to mind as I’m contemplating taking up acting classes again. (You’re probably aware by now that self expression is my thing).

I acted for fun throughout my twenties. And one fine Saturday our drama tutor told us to improvise a piece based on something that had happened in the past.

So as I schlepped across the wooden floor to the table and two chairs — our trusty props in the middle there — I pulled out a file from my memory bank and signaled to a class member to be my acting cohort. We had to share the story outline with the rest of the group and then proceed to improvise with words, movement, and gesture.

After the first, “You did what?” cue sharp intakes of breath. Then, “So you thought it would be a good idea to tell him because you were solving which world problem precisely?” Cue audience falling around laughing.

“Hmm,” I thought to myself, “not so bad at this improv stuff.” Apparently it was the facial expressions.

It was quite something because I’m someone who laughs at her own jokes. I double over before I’ve delivered the punchline, and once had such a fit of giggles while talking to a journalist that I had to pass the phone to a colleague.

The memory that used to be a yucky one became a yummy one as I’ll always remember my fifteen minutes of comedienne fame.

How have you turned embarrassment to entertainment, dud to dreamy, or cringe to creative? What hidden talent surfaced from your shame?

About four years ago, I had an assignment for a class that was left open ended, which was intended to fuel creativity. For it, I set out to write a list of things I had learned in life, the little snippets of wisdom that I had gained throughout the years.

Since then, I’ve set out to write at least a few new wisdoms every year to keep me grounded and aware of my growth. I think sometimes I feel like my growth has come to a standstill, and this reminds me that growth is happening even when I feel stuck.

So, I thought I’d share some of my favorite little reminders with you. Some of them may resonate with you, some of they may not. But that’s okay, we all have our own truths. These are mine…

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People will tell you what they think you should do, but always go with your gut. It will rarely fail you.

Don’t settle — because if you truly don’t want to, there is no reason you should.

Pick up a pen from time to time, and instead of using your head as your guide, use your heart.

Figure out what you stand for, because one day — and I can’t tell you when — someone will ask you and you’ll want to be able to answer.

Gain the ability to allow that which does not truly matter to slide.

Pay attention to small details, because those are the ones that truly matter.

If something is not serving you, get rid of it.

When you start to feel like you don’t stand out, that nothing really sets you apart from everyone else, remind yourself of the things that make you… YOU.

Strike up conversation with strangers. You’ll gain stories to store away in your file — stories you probably won’t ever forget.

Write — all the time, in random notebooks, at various times — your thoughts, dreams, aspirations. You’ll be thankful you have these later.

Find something that drives you, a purpose. Life will play out much smoother if you do.

You’re the only one that knows your limits, so share them with others if you want them heard; they can’t read your mind.

Realize that you deserve. It’s not a question. You just do. You deserve.

It’s really easy to question your decisions, normal even. But realize that you made them for a reason — and try and move past them. They happened. They’re over. Move on.

Explore the place in which you live. You won’t think it’s so great if you don’t.

Give of yourself.

Let. Things. Go.

If you can’t find it in you to believe in yourself, at least believe in believing in yourself.

It’s okay to not know what you want to be when you grow up. Yes, even if you are grown up.

Just be.

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What are some things that are truths for you?

These books served me well when I needed them. It’s time for me to let them serve someone else.

In my last post I proclaimed the commencement of operation Purge & Pack due to an upcoming move.

Though I haven’t started packing yet, I’m happy to report that the past few weeks have seen an unprecedented success in purging. I owe it in part to the magical process of purging inclusively.

Purging inclusively means decluttering through the lens of what you want to keep, vs. what you want to get rid of.

Let me illustrate using my biggest decluttering nemesis: books.

In previous decluttering attempts I would go through my bookshelves and ask myself, “Which books do I want to get rid of?” Being a complete book nerd, the answer would almost invariably be, “None.”

This year I tried something new. As I scanned each shelf in my library I asked myself, “Which books do I want to keep?”

The difference seems subtle, but it resulted in nearly a full box and two canvas shopping bags full of books to my local goodwill store.

With each book, I asked myself:

• Did I like it enough to read it again?
• Did I read it at all? If not, will I and in what context?
• Will I reference it?
• Does it hold special meaning?
• Am I through with the phase or process that was served by that particular book? (Divorce-related books begone!)
• Does it serve me, or do I foresee it serving me in the future? (Caution: This is a tricky one that’s easy to rationalize. It requires strong will and a good dose of self-honesty.)

For most books the answer was clear and came quickly, making it easy for me to be ruthless without feeling like I was losing out.

Purging inclusively is about keeping what serves you.

Whether you’re going through your garage, your closet, or your spice cupboard, it works.

I’ve got five boxes of stuff donated, three garbage bags tossed, and another box ready for consignment to prove it.

“This weather is awful,” I overheard the sad-sounding med student say. She was standing outside a hospital on the upper east side of Manhattan on a wet and chilly spring day earlier this week. She looked as if this breath of fresh air was all she’d had to look forward to all day. It seemed like a small but real devastation for her that her breath of fresh air was decidedly drizzly.

And me? I was on a half-day play date with the love of my life and I marveled at how different the same drizzly day looked from my perspective.

Was it wet? It was. Did I need to keep moving to keep from getting too chilly? I did. But we also made some wonderful discoveries as a consequence of being willing (and being blessed/lucky enough to be able) to see what might happen if we set out to enjoy ourselves anyway.

We walked into the Conservatory Gardens near the northeast corner of Central Park and found that the tulips and daffodils and flowering trees and lilacs didn’t seem to mind the rain a bit. I had never been there before and was reminded of how full of myriad little gems New York City truly is. The dampness in the air even seemed to make the lilacs smell sweeter.

Then we decided to get on a bus and head to the Central Park Zoo. It’s not the biggest zoo, so it doesn’t have the biggest crew of animals. But I think the combination of cooler weather and no crowds (we weren’t the only people there, but the staff definitely outnumbered the visitors) contributed to the animals’ willingness to hang out where people could easily see them. The red panda whose picture I snapped (doing its best performance of “Humans? I generally  ignore those”) was quite content to groom itself, wander around its enclosure, and generally be extremely visible to the two humans who were there to admire it. And its companion was curled up napping in the cutest ball-of-panda just a few feet from where we were standing.

Even more spectacular was the snow leopard. When I’ve visited this enclosure before, I’ve always been in a crowd of people pushing up against the glass while we engage in spontaneous choruses of “Can you see it? Is that it way up there? There’s nothing in this enclosure!” all while bobbing our heads back and forth and swaying with and against one another trying to catch the slightest glimpse. On our rainy day visit, she (the Zoo volunteer referred to the feline as a “she” and who am I to judge) was lounging on her heated rock ledge about fifteen or twenty feet from us, all long fluffy tail and magical inscrutability. And then she jumped down and came even closer before deciding she was done with us for the day and making her majestic exit.

By the time we scooted out of the city (almost) before rush hour, we were physically damp but uplifted in spirit.

I feel so lucky to have have been able to look out at that weather as something other than “awful” and to have a companion willing to explore with me in this ongoing adventure.

Any adventures in shifted perspectives you’d care to share?

Umm. notecard by Nadiah Kimie at nukilan on etsy.

You are well. Not a problem at all (well, give or take. . . ), but you hear a rumour that your colleague is “off her rocker.” “Crazy.” “Having a nervous breakdown.” “On ‘stress leave’.” Actually, he has been depressed.

What do you do?

For starters, curb the euphemisms and slang, and start thinking that there might be a medical diagnosis; that there might be more going on than you could possibly know about. Second, consider that the person is going through something that she might not fully understand herself. Third, find compassion and let that guide you.

No one wants to feel like a jerk and say the wrong thing.

Or, be in the situation of wanting to say something but being struck dumb by fear and saying nothing.

Here are some scripts that can help.

What to say to a colleague who has been away from work and you have heard has been unwell.

Say, “Hello.” You might be surprised to hear of the number of people who get tripped up right here.

Say, “It’s good to see you.” He has probably heard “How are you?” so many times by health professionals that he has started answering it truthfully, instead of our western custom of replying with, “Fine, thanks.” Unless you have a friendship that supports honest conversation and you truly want to know details, and are prepared to hear him kindly, leave the “How are you” for now.

Alternatives to “How are you?”

Most people who have been ill dread this question. There is that moment where we think, “Does she really want to know? Or is this the ‘social’ version where I say ‘Fine, thanks?’” It’s confusing. If you’re looking to engage after, “Hello,” try these instead.

“How was your drive in today?” (Or bus ride, or walk)

“How is today?” (It deflects the topic from them, and they can go anywhere they want with it.)

“How is your dog?” (Or cat, or goldfish) Pets, and talking about them, usually make people happy; pets give a lot back and don’t need too much from us.

The point here isn’t the answer to the question, it’s that you’ve just made some effort toward social interaction with someone who is trying really hard to be a part of healthy society right now.

What to say to a colleague who has “come out” to you as unwell and is recovering through mental illness.

Say, “I’m happy to have you back,” and “I’m sorry that things have been tough.”

Ask, “Do you know of something that I can do to help?” Perhaps helping them to have a quieter workspace might help them to concentrate. Maybe planning more “social moments” (like coffee breaks, if your group doesn’t normally take them together) will help them to better feel a part of the workplace. Invite them to things that you normally would, even if you know that they might not want to come. It’s possible that just having you know that they’ve been unwell (and your kind reaction) will help them to feel better about being back.

Know that you will be putting in more work than you would with a colleague or friend who is well.

And even if it doesn’t look like it, know that she is putting in a lot of work to be there with you too. Expect (and respect) that she might not have a lot to give back to you right now. It will come, though. She will remember you as someone who was kind to her when all of her effort went into just showing up.

What are your alternatives to “How are you?” How else have you shown your support for a colleague who has been away sick? Let’s keep talking about it.

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I am writing this because I had an experience. I am in no way a medical professional. I had an experience, and I have learned a lot from it, and that’s the foundation of all of this. You are reading the eleventh in a series of thirteen articles on surviving depression. Find the first ten articles here.

I confess:

I waited to read Steal Like an Artist because I (incorrectly) assumed it was just another book about creativity. I’ve read so many books that claim to give me the skills/habits/tools/routines I “need” to become a highly-successful creative being. I’ve read so many of them that now the entire genre of creativity books makes me nervous.

I was mistaken.

I shouldn’t have waited this long. In fact, I shouldn’t have waited at all.

With a no-nonsense approach to creativity (and practical experience to back his claims), Austin Kleon has created a list of tactics for recognizing creativity and using it to your advantage. But they’re not just things for you to do. They’re not exercises, or worksheets, or adventures. They’re just, well, life.

A list of ten suggestions, crafted for a speech given at a community college. Simple, forthright ideas. Nothing fancy. And yet …

Right now my world is undergoing an incredible series of changes. In the midst of a new relationship and adventures in housing, I’ve discovered a completely new way of approaching the work I want to be doing in the world, finding ways to use my natural talents for awesome success, and recognizing that sometimes the simplest things are the best things to do.

I ordered Steal Like an Artist from the library on a whim. I’ll be ordering a copy for my desk this week. It isn’t just the basic reminders for daily living, but it’s the black-and-white presence of those reminders in my world.

As I continue to accept that my world is exactly what I make it, this reminds me how to make the world exactly how I want it to be.

Technology has a bad name in terms of family and relationships. It’s easy to see why: partners are checking their phones in bed and parents and kids alike constantly have eyes on screens instead of talking to those around them.

If used smartly, though, technology can actually improve our family time rather than encroaching on it.

Don’t believe me? Read on.

Use shared calendars 
My husband and I share our Google Calendars so we don’t have to spend our meals and precious downtime organising plans and dealing with scheduling conflicts. Each of us can easily check the other person’s commitments and plan around them, without interrupting their day. One of the other advantages over a paper calendar is that you can schedule in recurring dates such as birthdays and regular commitments so you don’t have to copy them out every month.

Schedule your emails
If you’re like many creatives, you’re likely to be responding to business emails at odd hours as you juggle your work and family obligations. Unfortunately, if a client (or colleague) sees from your email that you’re working in the evening or on the weekend, they can take that as a green light that you’re available during these hours and expect calls to be taken and emails to be returned. If you do find yourself responding to emails while you wait for your Saturday morning hair appointment, schedule it to delay sending until Monday morning.

Schedule your updates
This is another one for business owners. Some people think they have to be online 24/7 to retain a presence on social media. Not true! Set aside a couple of hours one day a week to write all your blog posts for the week and one hour a day to prepare all your social media updates, then schedule them to go live whenever you wish, whether you’re going to be online or not. This is even more valuable when you want to take a family holiday or take a day off for your child’s sports carnival. You can enjoy your family time and know that you’re not falling behind online.

Call long-distance
We have family and friends spread out all over the world, and long distance calls aren’t cheap! Thankfully we now have things like Skype, Facetime, and Google Hangouts. We have regular Hangouts with my brother overseas; it costs nothing and it really does feel like you’re actually with them, unlike with a phone call.

Share your memories
Okay, so there’s nothing like getting a family photo in the mail and immediately putting it on your fridge. But let’s face it: how often do we actually do that? I use Dropbox to share high-res photos from family gatherings, weddings, and holidays with my friends and family. Much quicker than printing and mailing everyone, plus the bonus is that it acts as a backup for your precious memories.

Automate your finances
Every time I see someone at the post office paying individual bills in cash, I want to shake them! Paying your bills online — or better yet, automating the transactions — is a huge time saver every month. It doesn’t mean paying everything upfront, either; you can schedule the payments for after payday to even out your cashflow. Using a cloud-based accounting system (such as Outright or Xero) will further streamline your budgeting, meaning you can get back to the things you really want to be doing.

An app for everything!
These examples are just the tip of the technology iceberg. You’ll find time saving apps for planning your meals, organising your next holiday, shopping for the best deals, and anything else you can think of (and even plenty of things you wouldn’t have thought of!).

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So long, farewell…
After much thought, this will be my last regular post for Scoutie Girl. I have thoroughly enjoyed Tooling Around with you, but it’s time for me to move on to explore other opportunities. I hope this is a fitting final post and that you will keep in mind how you can use some tech tweaks to make your home and work life easier.

Keep in touch with me on my blog, Atypical Type A, and Twitter!