Funny things, words. I mean, what are they? A few or more letters flowing together across a page. Sounds spilling from lips and floating through the air.

For all their weightlessness, words can feel awfully heavy.

Every word has the capacity to leave its indelible mark on someone’s heart. Say something kind and watch someone’s entire countenance change. Read the comments from any given Scoutie Girl post and you can witness amazing growth wrapped up in a few short lines. And, sadly, I think we’ve all had that instant where one harsh word undid the work of a thousand sweet syllables.

The internet is especially dangerous where that last scenario is concerned. Too often we forget there are actual people behind those handmade products, blog posts, photos, and, yes, even less-than-complimentary feedback.

As crafters, we use our tools to create, and the things we craft with our words can be uplifting or they can be very, very heavy.

The adage bears repeating: words can hurt.

They can even scar. A mean-spirited comment from a stranger can cut; from a loved one, it can crush; but coming from oneself, harsh words can be a slow poison. I am guilty of condemning my dreams to creeping death – I suspect most artists are.

Original art by Valentina Ramos. Click on the image for more details.

Right now something particularly big is looming on the horizon so I punish myself even more than usual.  All I can think about are past put downs, failures, and shortcomings, real or imagined.  And no one can find the words to make me feel better. Maybe not any one, but many…so, a few years ago, I gathered the words of many and put them where I could always find them.

A personal blog post. Click on the image for more information

I made a list of wonderful things people had said to me and I posted them to my personal blog. (If you decide to click on the image and follow the link be warned: my personal blog has had its ups and downs.) Now I have more than a dozen kind thoughts to combat each negative one. It is pretty potent stuff because it is so very personal, but I also keep a running tab of inspiration on Pinterest.

from http://lovelyfighter.tumblr.com/ via Pinterest. Click image fordetails.

Now I have a huge database of words at my disposal to help me prepare for many ventures in business and in life. I’ll be honest, though – I’m not sure how much good it will do me for that next big thing in my life.

Recently I got a call from overseas, “Baby, I’m coming home.” And for that, there are no words.

I have a strong love for lace and doilies and this love is exemplified this time of year, when many stores are decked out in doily Valentine’s Day décor.

In honor of the upcoming holiday and my lace/doily obsession, I came up with a simple how-to that puts all my pieces of vintage lace and vintage doilies to good use.

Supplies needed:

• Wide pieces of lace {I used some vintage pieces that were about 5” wide} and/or doilies {I collect these from antique and vintage shops….they can be really affordable at around $1 each}
• Corn Starch
• Plastic Wrap
• Drinking glasses
• Rubber Bands

Step One:

Bring one cup of water to a boil in a small saucepan.  While you are waiting for the water to boil, mix together ¼ cup of cornstarch with ½ cup of cold water.

Step Two:

When the one cup of water has begun to boil, mix in the water/cornstarch and stir until the mixture thickens {this will take about 30 seconds}.  The mixture will be the consistency of thick gravy.  Turn off the heat and pour the cornstarch mixture into a large bowl.  Allow this to cool for about 30 minutes.

Step Three:

Flip your drinking glasses upside down and cover with pieces of plastic wrap.  Use rubber bands to hold the plastic wrap in place.

Step Four:

Submerge the pieces of lace into the cornstarch and water mixture and then wring out excess moisture.  Drape one piece of lace over each plastic wrap covered glass base.  Smooth the lace down and then secure it with a second rubber band.

If you are also making doily cups, follow the same steps.  I used a small bowl turned upside down for my doily since it was much larger than the pieces of lace.

Step Five:

Allow the lace/doilies to dry for about five hours and then carefully remove the rubber bands and peel the lace away from the glasses.

I think these little cups would make a lovely centerpiece – especially if they are filled with tea light candles.  Or, you could use them as the base for place cards at your wedding or dinner party.

Photo by Jake Botter

We all know we shouldn’t care what other people think about our decisions.

The vast majority of us still twinge with the thought that someone could misunderstand our motivations or question our preferences. I do.

I am, by nature, a fairly intuitive person. I detect quite a bit of below-the-radar information that is flying about in conversation or lack thereof. Most of it is good information. It helps me stay engaged, understand where things are going, and stay ahead of the game.

However not all this information is helpful.

Whenever I start to believe that I know what someone else is thinking in terms of me, I lose.

I let that perception get in my way. I assume many things and start to operate on my assumptions.

I’ve tried over & over again to reprogram that behavior by reminding myself that it doesn’t matter what other people think. It only matters that I’m true to me and my own values. But I’m a people pleaser. I always want to have the right answer, the shared interest, the story that lets you know I understand.

But here’s is my aha! realization from the last year or so… When pricing, emailing, having coffee, making an offer, buying, selling, tweeting, texting, talking, laughing:

It’s not about learning how to not to care what others think. It’s about understanding that you don’t know.

You just don’t know what others think. You might think you know. But you don’t.

You don’t know what others think. You don’t know how they’ll react when confronted with your most true beliefs & desires.

Be true to you and allow others to be true to themselves.

You tell me: do you care what others think? How do you reconcile that with your actions?

I’ve felt that way. The good news is, this ain’t high school! You can join the club.

In this video, I’ll share 2 ways that you can build connections with whomever you please. Welcome to the club!

In the comments, let us know if you’ve done a “be an insider project,” or share your plans for one you might try.

Gathering light,

January 2012 may be the longest month of my life. Cancer diagnosis at the beginning of the year, when one tends to be in starting over and setting intentions mode, is an odd parallel to live. Still, it has been in many ways quite wonderful. Cancer forces one to take stock of what is important and to pay attention to now.

I spent much of 2011 searching and absorbing information. Some I needed, most was just padding. I searched and searched as if there were a magic solution, a formula to tell me how best to live and prosper. I knew deep down there was not, but still I searched. I wanted it to be easy.

What I have learned as I faced my diagnosis is, it is easy. It is easy if you let it be.

Definition of EASE: the state of being comfortable: as a- freedom from pain or discomfort; b- freedom from care; c- freedom from labor or difficulty; d- freedom from embarrassment or constraint. Naturalness -”known for his charm and ease of manner.” An easy fit.

If we are doing our true work and living authentically, it will be with ease, naturalness. Not that challenges don’t arise, or mistakes get made, but an overall sense of ease will accompany a life lived from the heart. My cancer woke me up to that part of myself I had buried. It still shone through in my art, but in my life the spark had gone out. I found no joy in cooking, or in caring for my things. No depth in my daily interactions and tasks.

In the end the simple things are the deepest.

I have been having various side effects from pain medication and treatments that have forced me to slow down, thus I have taken up my knitting with a new appreciation. Rather than just a way to fill time and relax, I am noticing the texture and subtle color shifts in my work. What a simple and elegant thing, creating a piece of fabric with yarn and needles.

I have also taken an interest in food and cooking that has been latent for some time. It turns out cancer is dramatically effected by diet, and I am committed to do all I can to beat it. Being winter, albeit a warm one, soups have been a real pleasure these past few weeks. Soup, chili, and shopping for fresh ingredients. When was the last time I enjoyed shopping for food, planning a meal?

The thing that has most dramatically changed is my attitude towards my “stuff.” For the past few years I have been complaining about the excess I’ve accumulated and not done much about making it go away. There is that expression about getting your affairs in order when facing death, but I have found even the possibility of death to be motivation. I realize it doesn’t matter so much if I make a couple bucks on eBay, or if every worthless trinket finds a perfect home before hitting the garbage. It is cluttering my life and it must go. I feel so much less attached to the outcome. Every day I tackle a drawer or a pile, a shoebox, or a closet. Just stuff. Let it go… When I do leave this life I want what remains to be easy.

I was visiting with a friend yesterday and explaining all this. I said to her, “You know, this is who I always was, I just lost my way.”

So I say to you, reader:

How many ways are you forcing a lifestyle that is not you?

Is your craft business or day job draining or feeding you? How about the dinner plans?

Finally, where my art business is concerned, I see there, too, I have been playing it falsely. Buying biz plans that don’t suit me and not using them. You know what I mean. Next time Let’s talk about aligning the dollar with living authentically!

From the Heart,

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When I was little, I received a calligraphy set as a gift.

It wasn’t all fancy with a feathered quill and ink bottle or anything, just a simple one with four colors of calligraphy markers and an instruction book that would spark a life-long fascination with illustrative fonts and typography. I wrote calligraphy constantly. It probably even helped give me halfway-decent regular handwriting to boot. It’s a skill that requires a lot of patience and discipline, which were some of my biggest obstacles.

In Greek language, calligraphy literally translates to the combined words “beauty” and “writing”, embellished lettering ranging from simple to ornate. Calligraphy has been used in many countries  for centuries, from everyday correspondence, to important documents, to religious works, such as the Book of Kells in Ireland.

These days, we mostly see calligraphy on wedding invitations or the occasional Christmas card. The emergence of typewriters and computers have made regular handwriting a rarity over time, let alone its time-consuming artsy-fartsy cousin. I think we could stand to bring it back into the fray a little more, though. I’m game for some grocery lists with the words “eggs” and “tampons” written out with special flare. Roll them up like a scroll to really add some distinction to your errands.

Those calligraphy markers I used to have are still available in craft and stationery stores if you want to try your hand at a different type of creativity or just want to work on some exercises for improving your own handwriting. Larger sets should come with books to teach you, though you can always find a mini-tutorial online. More traditional nib pens and ink are available, too, if you’re ready to move into prime time. I recently purchased a new set, and the following day, even found a set of two dozen nibs at a thrift store for 8 bucks. Score.

If you’re curious about giving this artistic penmanship a whirl, these sites may inspire and assist you further:

• Paper & Ink Arts – An extensive online supply site featuring calligraphy materials as well as great gift items.

• Calligraphy Centre – This group hosts a week-long retreat for calligraphers, in addition to offering online resources and teaching classes to central North Carolina locals.

• IAMPETH – The International Association of Master Penmen-Engrassers-Teachers of Handwriting. That name alone should let you know how serious this group is. Lots of good history as well as resources on this site. If you’re really ambitious, you can strive to become a Master Penman, where “inductees are required to produce their own certificate as proof of their ability.”

• Calligraphy Art iPad app – “There’s an app for that.” Even calligraphy.

• Lisa Congdon’s 365 Days of Hand Lettering – Artist Lisa Congdon recently started taking calligraphy classes. Follow along on her blog as she experiments with a new way to express her art.

Have you tried your hand at calligraphy before?

Last week Tara Gentile shared a thoughtful post here on Scoutie Girl all about creating a lifestyle that is authentic to you.

It spoke to me, because I’m there. I’ve been thinking a lot lately about authenticity, harmony, congruence. About whether my values, desires, and what I want from life actually match up with my..yeah, life!

The one I’m living. Right now. Not the one I’m almost living, planning on living, or thinking about creating.

So, like Tara, I’m looking at the larger picture, the lifestyle picture. The location. The home. The jobs. The relationships. While there are so many foundational things perfectly in place, there are many things that just don’t fit.

That’s what happens when you start to take a close, close look at congruence.

What is incongruent inevitably rises to the surface. And floats there.

It’s been uncomfortable to sit with that knowledge.

If you’re like me, trying to wrap your head around how to bring congruence to the most massive aspects of your life might be overwhelming.

My head was spinning with all of it. And then I had an insight.

I can find congruence right now. It’s in each moment.

I’m not talking about making small, incremental changes toward your large goals. I’m not talking about saving up to buy the home that feels right in the right town, or methodically working toward your dream job. That’s another post for another time.

I’m talking about finding congruence, harmony, authenticity right this second, not only in what you’re doing, but in the how.

I may already be doing something that’s part of my life design, but am I going about it in a way that supports my values and desires?

It’s in the tiniest of daily choices (which apple should I buy? what book will I read?) and also in the attitudes, qualities, and awareness we bring to each interaction.

How I listen to my husband. How I speak to my children. How I brush my teeth.

How I practice yoga. How I prepare food. How I meet new people.

How I make art, or write. How I treat myself. How I clean my house.

I do these things every day. I get to choose how. I get to take a deep breath, and ask myself:

Am I doing this thing in a way that is congruent with how I want to create my life? If not, can I find a way to create alignment?

Am I bringing openness, patience, love, and expansiveness to these interactions? Or tension, hurriedness, aloofness, self-punishment?

The moment is right now, the moment is what is happening, the moment is something I can’t put off until the future. This moment is the time for me to be authentic. To find harmony. To create congruence.

Here’s to you finding congruence, right now, in this moment.

xoxo, Maeg

blue light disco blue agate and sterling silver earrings by mich vanetta - click image for more info

Throughout this column I have explored the idea of craftiness and where it comes from. It has allowed me to realize that craftiness and creativity are within all of us, no matter what upbringing we had.

These often show up as part of our personality and the way that we live our everyday lives, in the way that we create for our families, or the way that we prepare food, or even in our careers. Craftiness is something that can be nurtured from childhood, or something that we choose to pursue without that familial support.

Your creative calling will find you.

This is not to say that you don’t have to work to make dreams come true, but that there is creativity and craftiness within you, no matter how much you see it as something that other people do. It is in the way that we think and the way that we problem solve our day-to-day lives. It is the common ground that brings us closer with others, something that we share in common.

Maybe we just need to change our definition of creativity to see that it is just part of us, rather than something only a special few have.

Some people aren’t ready to see their creative side until later in life and others know what they love from the time they are children. Sometimes you stumble upon it when you think you’re looking for something else.

From writing this column I have learnt that it is all about being true to who you are and the rest will come. Don’t write off your creative strengths just because it’s not traditional, or it doesn’t make you money. Creativity and craftiness are so much more than that.

Don’t you think so, too?

Trees at Columbus Circle, New York, January 2012

One of the things I started my new year off thinking about are my larger, longer, and bigger life and business goals. When taking stock of 2011 I realised that I had lost track of some of these bigger goals all for being focused on the smaller day to day ones.

Most of us have our lofty dreams, our go-to goals, and our list of must-dos. Each one of these dreams and goals are made up of a series of much smaller actions – actions that, when put together as part of an overall plan, help to shape these big dreams. Sometimes, though, we can get so involved with the smaller bits, the day to day, that we lose sight of where we are headed, or even momentarily forget where we are going, and our overall plan for how to get there.

You know that old saying: She couldn’t see the forest for the trees? Sometimes the trees all look so lovely and so compelling that we forget to shift our perspective and look at them all together, as a forest.

Let’s look at the pieces and the whole as a movie camera would: Close ups of the leaves, and the branches, shifting to the trunk and to the earth where the trees are rooted, and shifting again to the tops of the trees, and further to the sky. Now, slowly, the camera moves back. Our vision is widened, and we see all the varied and sundry trees growing together in the forest. Each tree a goal or a dream, each tree linked to each other through the earth and through the sky.

So as you begin this new year, as you move through this first month of the year, how are you putting your vision to work?

Are you remembering to switch your focus from close up to panoramic view, and vice versa? Are you focusing on the small bits that make up the whole and stopping now and then to step back and look at the whole picture?

One of the practices that I will be putting to work for myself is the use of perspective. Just as in drawing or painting or photography, the use of perspective gives us depth and spatial relationship, it gives us space, it gives us context and it gives us a view to where we’re going.

So whatever the task at hand – writing copy, working on a new piece, designing a promo piece or finishing a piece of jewelery – I will be building in time to step back and look at where I’m going. This will mean changing some patterns {see Maeg Yosef’s post on changing patterns}, and adding some time to stop and look and listen.

What things are you doing this January to change up your focus a bit, and keep your eye on the forest as well as the trees?

"Believer in Luck" from Sacred and Profane - click for info

A few days ago, I was with a friend of mine at a conference and we were talking about our lives and our careers. Eventually, towards the end of our conversation, I said something about how I felt lucky to be able to do something I love full-time, especially since I realized that not everyone has that luxury.

But the real word I was searching for was ‘grateful,’ not ‘lucky.’

So I quickly corrected myself, and we moved on to some other topic; but as I was sitting there, I realized something.

Often times people, myself included, get luck confused with something entirely different.

Has that ever happened to you?

Is it just easier for us to identify our successes as luck as opposed to the results of hard work and dedication? And if so, why?

Well, I don’t have an answer for why we do this, but I do know one thing. For the large majority of us, the following is true…

Things happen because you make them happen.

You don’t wait for someone else to stroll across your blog and website. You go to them. You work for it. And you deserve the credit, not luck.

And when someone seeks you out ‘on their own’ it may seem entirely random. And sure, you’ll think that luck is on your side when an editor approaches you about being featured in their magazine. But is it really all that random? How much luck is truly involved here?

After all, you are working hard day after day, getting your name out there, and producing something of value. So naturally, you are going to start drawing a crowd, and not just any crowd – a crowd that will tell their friends about you and share your articles and products. And that is how your success starts to spread – through tweets and blog mentions and emails and Facebook shares.

It may seem random at first, but when you stop to think about the bigger picture, it’s actually a lot more intentional and a lot less ‘lucky.’ Don’t you think?

This article is not the end of the conversation. It’s just the beginning. So it is time to share your thoughts…

What is your opinion on luck?

Leave your response in the comments below.