I’m now in my fourth year of business and one of the things that I see has held me back in the past is a simple little question I catch myself quietly saying in my head…
“What will they think?”
“Who are they?” you might ask. Great question.
The truth is, I have no clue and the only reply I can give is anyone, everyone, or just plain someone.
The approval seeker in me just seemed wired to shape-shift and bend my services and offering to what I thought people needed. Then a little further down the line I’d wonder why it all felt so hard to find my tribe. In truth it was hardly surprising because I didn’t have a concrete form, a clear point of view of who I helped because lets face it I was hard wired to serve everyone.
Do you worry what others might think about your work, your art, or what you’re up to in the world?
The good news is the answers lie inside of you.
You can spend hours adapting, re-shaping and chasing what you think will be what others want and the result will be that you end up feeling dissatisfied, overwhelmed and often spinning your wheels.
The best investment I made was to stop and look at what was driving this pattern of people pleasing and approval seeking. I was shown it was and old pattern that I believed which was that if I worked hard, was good and pleased others, I would be loved and belong. Continuing the pattern was how I ended up completely stuck and struggling to lead my business in the way I wanted to. I needed clarity and to own my own opinion and in the absence of it, I just kept trying to get clarity from “others.”
I discovered along the way that I wasn’t alone. There’s lots of people out there all worrying about what others might think. It holds them back from asking for help, sharing their ideas and generally honouring their truth. The solution really is to get clear about your own values, your intentions and make friends with your fears and not to project them on to others.
The next time you feel concerned about what others might think try this:
- Get clear about who “they” are and what fear you’re protecting in yourself by trying to please or accommodate them. Write that down.
- Put your hand on your heart and clarify your own intention for what you’re doing. It doesn’t matter whether it’s creating art, making a meal, or doing business, being clear on your intention will give you purpose and confidence.
- Make a commitment to your intention and let it override your desire to please others. This is about you, your creation, your heart and your intention.
- Go and do that thing.