Checking Fear at the Door

Fear is the highest fence.
Fear is the highest fence by mrsdkrebs.

I have a frenemy in my life. His name is Fear.

Anyone who knows me knows that I’m always talking about conquering fear, so it’s strange for me to call fear a frenemy, implying that, to some extent, fear is a friend.

Now don’t get me wrong, fear sucks — but I need a healthy amount of fear in my life. Fear is that voice that keeps me in check to some extent.

Fear is the voice that lets me know that I’m doing something challenging.

You can’t be too comfortable in your creative and business pursuits. A little fear lets you know that you’re doing something different. You’re adventuring into new territory. 

The dark side of this is that if you don’t keep fear in check, it can rule you.

Do you ever do any of the following:

  • Not take a risk or try something new because of what could happen.
  • Not follow through on your big idea because you feel like you can’t do it.
  • Diagnose yourself, life, business with the worst case scenario outcome without evidence.

In these cases, fear is ruling you, you are not ruling fear.

Here’s how I keep fear in check in my life: I act.

The more I dwell in my head, the more likely I am to let fear beat me up. So I must take action.

I have the following quote on my office door:

“Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage.  If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Get out and get busy.”
— Dale Carnegie.

How do you give life your all while keeping fear in check? Is there a place for fear in your life?

8 thoughts on “Checking Fear at the Door

  1. Fear is really crippling. I don’t dwell in it or deal with it too much. Sure, at times I’ve been fearful or unsure, but after a cancer diagnosis 8 years ago, fear and I went head-to-head and I came out the victor. I don’t walk with it anymore and that’s such a good feeling. It’s a freedom. I know some people never experience it and I honestly don’t know how that happens. Trepidation I have from time to time but actual fear? Maybe when you have to meet it face to face it makes the biggest difference. Learning to live in my heart and not my head? That was probably the first step.

  2. not only is this post great, but i LOVE that you mention Dale Carnegie. he was such a brilliant people wizard and his books and experiences are awesome to learn from. just found you on the twitter, btw–i like your style! :) xx Fel

  3. Thanks for the comments!

    I’m SO bad for coming up with the worst outcomes for everything in my head. And it’s such a waste of time.

    For me it’s very much an energy shift, instead of letting fear pull me down to somewhere dark, I use it propel myself into somewhere amazing by being proactive. It’s not always easy, but it’s necessary!

    1. I live in Fairfield , CA. that is the Northren part. I live in Northren CA inland area with some ocean incluenfe, summer days are hot between 90 to 103F & winter days between 40 to 50 F.After reading where you are all from I’m not sure I picked the right color. Does any of that sound like wear any of you live?

  4. I can relate.

    I remember the quote from the Dune novels –

    Litany Against Fear.
    “I must not fear.
    Fear is the mind killer.
    Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
    I will face my fear.
    I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
    And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
    Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
    Only I will remain.”

    I try to remember that, especially since deciding to follow my creative dreams.

  5. I have learned that at least 80% of fear is excitement. We are taught to register excitement as fear as kids, mostly to keep us out of trouble I guess. Next time you feel fear, perhaps second guess yourself and see if you are just having a surge of excitement, which is a positive thing!

  6. I think fear is so a part of the personality (ego-mind), that it is rarely seen as such. We find that most of the folks that have left fear behind, and I mean completely in a time-bound sense) are those who are utterly present-in-the-moment. Action is spontaneous, life is lived likewise, any postulating or assessment of situations is purely for functional purposes. There is no unnecessary reflection or anticipation.
    Easy huh? Well maybe not, but certainly the place to aspire to. I fearful thinking is just a signpost to come back to now.
    Thank you all.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *