Autumn on the east coast. There is change in the air, on the ground, all around. Personally I love this time of year. I love the first days of wearing a sweater, and the colors, and the crisp smell in the air. I love apples and pumpkin lattes, and hot cider. I love the New Year vibe minus the alcohol and resolutions, but I am not here to extol the virtues of autumn, really.
Last week I talked about brain tigers, aka fear of uncertainty, and the crazy things our brains create around it.
There is a flip side to uncertainty, though. With uncertainty comes possibility.
I have been angsting a lot this past week as my responsibilities are suddenly tenfold. Committee meetings, essays to write, print orders to fill, and vendors to organize. Outside there is no denying the change in season. The house plants must come in, and rooms need to be rearranged to make room. A little more each year. On it goes, and I get tense, but then I stop, take a step back, breathe, and take stock of it all. I created this life and I love it.
It has been a difficult 18 months since I totally quit working at a “job.” Most of the time I did not know what I was doing, or what would work. All I knew was I had some prints that seemed popular, and I was determined to find a way to earn a living through art. I knew that the internet was a way.
I was a latecomer to social media and blogs. I had no clue that because of a book I came upon accidentally in May of 2009, that I would join Facebook and twitter just to get to know its author, Patti Digh. I didn’t know this would lead to my reading blogs and making friends and building relationships around the world.
I had no idea that I would stumble upon Scoutie Girl shortly after Tara took it over, and that because she is a fellow Pennsylvanian I would decide to follow her. I didn’t know that Tara, a woman more than 20 years my junior, would become a mentor to me. I didn’t know any of this and I was scared plenty of the time. However, it was here at Scoutie Girl and blogs like it that I learned how it all works, and slowly, awkwardly made my way. I didn’t know that I would end up writing here and love it.
I didn’t know that it would lead to my finally embracing my own blog, writing three times a week, and loving it. I didn’t know that I had ideas, and stories to tell that would actually matter to people.
Like I said, it was a difficult 18 months and it is far from smooth sailing even now, but I feel I have crossed a threshold, and I know I will continue to grow and succeed from here.
I could have quit when I put up my first awful store and sold nothing, but I tried again. I could have quit when all my new camera equipment was stolen last year, but I decided I could make do. I wanted to quit earlier this year when there were crazy things happening with the weather, in the world, and I felt helpless to do anything about it, but I persevered.
Not knowing is indeed scary, but possibility is alive in those times, and change will happen whether or not we take a chance.
Now it is autumn and nature is getting ready for winter’s rest, but me, I’m just getting to the spring of my work here. The growth will be abundant, and the season long.