The Gifts of Imperfection

I always love when I’m going along through life and I happen to pick up a book that gets me to face all of the things I’ve been avoiding. This happened when I recently picked up The Gifts of Imperfection by Brené Brown. It got me to face  important things like authenticity, self love, and just owning up to being imperfect. I’ve gone around lately so busy, and so determined to get everything right, that I’ve been driving myself crazy. I’m an imperfect human, and instead of getting angry at myself when I forget to call someone back, or show up late for a meeting, I should anticipate that these things are going to happen, and acknowledge that it’s okay.

Something else that has been getting in my way lately is authenticity. Normally, I pride myself on being raw and authentic in how I portray myself. However, how can this be possible when I’m trying to make sure I get everything just right? It’s an impossible task, and clearly not one I should be aspiring to live up to.

If I haven’t been raw and authentic with myself lately, that surely doesn’t set me up to be very raw and authentic with anyone else.

I’ve shut myself off to the things that I want because they make me vulnerable, and, oh my, is vulnerability scary. But it was so reaffirming to go through this book, because within the past week, I’ve started to make life choices about things that no longer need to be in my life, what I really need, and how I’m going to make those things happen.

All this week, I’ve been making myself vulnerable from sharing this big idea I have with people who are far more knowledgeable than I, stepping down from a position that I’d lost heart in, and choosing to give love a chance with someone whom it failed with in the past. So it has been a big week of feeling extremely vulnerable, and I was terrified the whole time — terrified of my idea being shut down, terrified of letting people down, terrified of being rejected — but I did it anyway.

I thought a lot all week about the fact that life comes with no gurantees, and decided there were two things I could do with that.

I could either live life safely, and only do things where I had control of the outcome, or I could open myself up to the possibility of hurt, if that means potentially finding greatness.

I know there will be times where I’m vulnerable, and my biggest fear becomes reality. Yet I also know that won’t be the case every time. And it’s that little ounce of hope that vulnerability might lead to great things that keeps me open to the idea.

I could go on and on about why you should pick up this book, but I really think it’s something we can all benefit from, as it deals with the things we all struggle with as humans. The book guides you through this idea of cultivating a wholehearted life, and tell me, who doesn’t want that?

Wholehearted living is about engaging in our lives from a place of worthiness. It means cultivating the courage, compassion, and connection to wake up in the morning and think, “No matter what gets done and how much is left undone, I am enough.” It’s going to bed at night thinking, “Yes, I am imperfect and vulnerable and sometimes afraid, but that doesn’t change the truth that I am also brave and worthy of love and belonging.”

~Brené Brown

So tell me, how have you been vulnerable lately?

Book Review: A Field Guide to Now

photo copyright Christina Rosalie 2012

Do you ever stop to wonder how you became connected with someone online? Can you trace back to the exact moment your spark lit, who made it possible, and how you wandered into the same bit of online space? For me, I can remember the exact moment — the connecting force — that brought me to people I now hold as dear friends. For some of the them. But for others, it seems as though they have always been there, that I cannot remember a time online when I wasn’t reading their blogs, or watching them on twitter, or connecting via instagram. We were always connected. We maybe didn’t know it yet.

As I’ve been reading A Field Guide to Now by Christina Rosalie, I have this “always connected” feeling. I’ve tried, for days, to trace back how I stumbled into her plot of online land, how I began reading her blog, but I don’t know. She has just been here, always. Though we’ve not met in person (yet!), I find comfort in her words, in her telling of life. I remember when this book was just a zygote, as she was headed back to school and feeling the unearthly compulsion to write, every day, without fail. (I say this as I, too, suffer from this compulsion. Do you?) I followed with (and contributed to) her successful Kickstarter campaign, and could not wait to read more of her words in this gorgeous book.

And yet, A Field Guide to Now is so much more than just her story. It truly is a field guide, complete with notes and actions for you to endeavor as you read. Illustrated by Christina’s own mixed-media work, including repurposed postcards her father collected in the 1960s, and filled with the true story of one woman’s journey, this book is a pause in the swiftly-shifting seasons of our lives.

“To begin, to be in the mess, to be right here.”
- Christina Rosalie

my favorite image from the book, page 87

This truthful, raw, and beautiful story of her journey — as an artist, a mother, a teacher, a writer, a woman — this book is written for each of us who live and breathe. It is written to remind us that we are not alone, amongst the dirty laundry and the confounding partners and the children who ask us ever-deepening questions of “why?” It is written to navigate five minutes of solitude — in the bathroom, on the bus, in the checkout at the market. Each section is brief, filled with truth and images and an invitation — a something you can do to come back into now. I have been carrying this book in my purse for days. I read it as my partner and I took two young boys to the cinema. And in those moments, flipping pages and inhaling possibility, I was more present than I had been in weeks.

And that presence lingered. Through fast food and action movies, tiny boys squirming in my lap, spilled popcorn and sticky lemonade hands — I was simply there.

If reading this book for ten minutes can inspire this kind of awareness in me, I am eager to discover what other treasures are hidden in the pages.

What helps you become present to the now?

Want to know more about Christina and her process? Check out the interview I did with her at A Forest of Stories!

The Perception of What You Hear

image by StoicDesign – click for info

It’s always interesting how people perceive things within themselves, as well as things outside themselves. You see a tree, and I see the roots deeply implanted in the ground, stretched beneath the earth, pushing out in all directions. I see the large trunk that I know is rough to touch, and can feel it without my hand ever meeting its surface. I see the branches that scatter aimlessly in all directions hovering above, the leaves that live and those that fall – consequences of time, age, or simply just the way of things. I take in the smell that brings about a sense of calm, that reminds me of being raw, at peace. Silence, the wind, and the desire to be perpetually in that moment.

You see, lately I keep having experiences where I feel like my perception of what is happening is far different from other people’s. And that’s perfectly alright. For some reason, instead of doing my reflecting when the new year arrives, I always start to look deeper at things come fall.

Perhaps it’s the leaves changing, or the sense of routine that comes back to me once fall hits, but it always gets me to slow down a bit, observe more, and just really take it all in.

I’m always creating music lists come fall, so I thought I’d share some of my favorite songs that I always seem to bring back into my life around this time of year. Listen to one, or a few, or even them all.

Ben Harper – Walk Away
Erich Hutchinson – All Over Now
John Legend – Ordinary People
Bell X1 – The Apple of my Eye
Kate Walsh – Tonight
Mindy Smith – One Moment
Patrick Park – Life is a Song
Ron Pope – Seven English Girls
Matt Nathanson – Still
The Civil Wars – Poison and Wine
Laura Marling – Ghosts
Ben Lee – We’re All in This Together
Ron Pope – Headlights on the Highway
Laura Jansen – Use Somebody
Ben Kweller – Thirteen
Caitlin Rose – Things Change

And perhaps you’ll like a song off this list, and someone else won’t. But that’s the beauty of it – we all perceive things so differently. And instead of being concerned about my perceptions being “off “lately, I’ve started to embrace how I see things differently from others – because that’s something I get to own, and that’s a pretty exciting thing.

Own your perceptions, enjoy them, celebrate them, and value that they may be tremendously different than the perceptions of everyone you know.

Viennese Coffee – A Love Story

Melange – photo by Amanda Gynther

This is a guest post from Amanda Gynther.

Vienna, the beautiful city of dreams, sits on the border of Western and Eastern Europe, at the heart of the European continent. It is a gorgeous city of gardens and parks. Its earliest roots lie in Celtic and Roman settlements, which gave way to medieval and baroque architecture. There is also Bohemian flavor that pops up here and there as it sits right beside Bohemia and once encompassed it as part of the Ottoman Empire.

The city of Vienna is small compared to many of the large cities in the USA. Many of the oldest shops go unmarked, on the second floor of large old stone buildings designed to give a nod to the city’s earliest Roman roots. As a foreigner, you will never be able find these shops without the help of someone who knows where they are because their mother showed them and because their mother was shown by her own mother. The buildings are very old by American standards, many of them several hundred years old. The one I am sitting in is more than 250 years old, which, though not new by Austrian standards, is also not particularly old either. The buildings are artfully decorated with motifs that call to mind ancient Roman settlements and legends. In more recent years, spray paint has become a favorite of the Viennese people, who continue to leave their marks on their own beautiful architecture.

The people of Vienna are quick to laugh and enjoy a relaxed pace of life. They go to work a few hours a day and take long vacations every year, as is standard in Europe. They value good music, the arts, and tradition very highly, which is what inspires me to write this post.

You see, right now in Vienna, there is a bit of a hullabaloo going on related to one of their most cherished traditions: coffee culture, and in particular Melange, a special Viennese coffee that is hard to come by outside of Vienna.

Melange is half espresso, part milk, and part milk foam, so that milk makes up half the cup and the espresso makes up the other half. On top, the foamed milk sits most beautifully. Often, it is garnished with a small amount of shaved chocolate or cinnamon. Melange is served usually in a small white tea cup with a handle that sits on a small saucer with two very plain cookies on the side, next to a small shot glass of water, on a metallic silver tray. The hullabaloo at the moment is about how some of the cafes have decided to begin charging a tiny sum of money for the water that is part of the Melange tradition of Austrian café culture. The people are quite enraged. They have taken this custom for granted and enjoyed it for generations, and no one spoke of an added charge for anything.

At present, this is the leading café issue of our day. Which is interesting, because it used to be that many great thinkers, writers, poets and philosophers, musicians and actors gathered at these cafes to discuss all manner of things. At some cafes you can still find labels by the tables as to which famous person sat at which table over the course of the last three hundred years. Would you like to sit at Freud’s favorite table, or would you prefer sitting where some other famous author once used to sit to talk about big things while sipping his Melange and free water?

Vienna has this spectacular tradition and café culture because it was through them that coffee was introduced to the rest of Western Europe, back when Austria was part of the Ottoman Empire. The love affair with coffee in the Ottoman Empire became banned during the 17th century, some time after its introduction to Europe, because coffee was fuel for big thinkers; it gave them a reason to gather, discuss, and think creatively. This, of course, meant that it had to be shut down.

Coffee culture was viewed by the ruling elite of the time as a catalyst for rebellion.

Today, so it remains in Vienna: The people sit in their beautiful café houses, which in the summer spill right out onto the sidewalk, eating their cookies and drinking the water they now have to pay for, remembering the time only several weeks ago when the water was free. As they drink their coffee, they write letters to their editor on their laptops, using the free internet access that is part of the more modern café culture, to complain about the new fad of charging for water. Still rebelling, with coffee as a catalyst. This is just the tradition of Vienna. If it were not the cost of water they were concerned with, it would only be something else, I think.

This is the nature of the café culture of Vienna. It breeds thoughtful, creative, humanist culture that takes the form of rebellion.

It is amazing to sit in these beautifully painted cafes, full of murals that were sometimes painted by the leading artists of the day, hundreds of years ago, enjoying a cup of Melange, knowing nothing has changed the traditions of this city for hundreds of years – not even a bombing that leveled the city. Vienna never wavered. They know who they are. They are the people who are going to enjoy their traditions without added fees for water, because these traditions belong to all of the people of Vienna, not just to the cafes.

I find myself falling in love with this country and city very slowly. If I don’t get out of here soon, I may find myself so taken with the culture, the compassionate, kind people, and the coffee, that I may not be able to leave. Already, Viennese Melange has made its way into our home and into our hearts, as have the Austrian people.

Would you like to experience the coffee tradition of Vienna? I share information on how to make Melange, the drink of rebels, thinkers, and artists, on my website.

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Amanda Gynther began traveling in her early teens to see what existed beyond her own backyard. Today, she continues her travels with her husband and keeps a blog to track the adventure. You can find her on twitter, on Facebook, and on Etsy. Amanda is a lover of good food, good music, international good times, crafty things, art, and good company.

Little Things Link Love: Night Sky

Planets Hard Candy Lollipop by Vintage Confections – click image to see more

The best date night I ever had with my boyfriend involved microwave s’mores, a tent set up in the living room, and a flashlight outfitted with a piece of tinfoil with holes.  We had a fun time under our fake stars, but there’s nothing better than the real thing.  Who doesn’t love the night sky on a warm summer night?

Here are some fun links that will let you bring the beauty of the night sky into your home:

  • There’s no denying the usefulness of Google Maps but have you looked into Google Sky?  It’s an amazing program that lets you see the night sky from any location.  It even has settings to display the constellations or star signs AND it can point out the satellites!
  • In case you aren’t lucky enough to own an amazing telescope like astronomers, you can make a very simple one thanks to How Stuff Works.  It’s made from household items but it will allow you to see the moon and large star clusters.
  • There’s more than one way to sleep under the stars.  Helping Little Hands created the most amazing solar system quilt and they’ve shared the pattern so you can make your own.
  • I never thought I would say this but now you can actually eat the planets.  Vintage Confections makes incredible lollipops that are miniature planets.  They’re truly small works of art.  I don’t know if I could go through with actually eating the candy.
  • Sometimes the stars are also celebratory.  Ladyfingers Letterpress prints constellation invitations for weddings and other big events.  The colors and the swirl of the stars are gorgeous.