About Tahani Al-Salem

Tahani Al-Salem is a hippy, hipster, liberal, artsy, independent, whirlwind of a girl, or at least that’s how her mother describes her. She is happiest at home on her couch with a good book and a cup of tea, out gallivanting through the city, or having conversations she’ll never forget with strangers who just happen to cross her path. She is studying Social Work at the University of Washington, and is notorious for putting pen to paper and letting her thoughts wander when she should be paying attention in class.

January 17, 2013

Cobblestone Travels: Embracing Freedom

I’ve been home from my whirlwind of an adventure for a little over a week, and I’m still walking around intoxicated by what surrounds me and trying to be sure to take it all in. I needed that trip more than I had known, and it has reeled me back in to the true version of myself — the happy content girl that lives within me, that I hadn’t seen in quite some time. But she’s back, and plans to take 2013 by storm!

So where in the world did I go? I started in Amsterdam, wandered over to Brussels, spent Christmas in Lille, went to Luxembourg, got to my last stop in Cologne, where plans changed and I ended up also going to Frankfurt and Heidelberg, before making it back to Amsterdam to fly home.

It was a quick sixteen days, but it’s not so much about the places I went, but the people and interactions I had while there.

In Brussels, I spent the end of the world with an Australian girl who had been traveling for 20 months. When she got low on money she worked at a pub in London, took care of dogs in Austria, gardened in Ireland, or worked at a hostel in Spain. She was full of stories and spirit, and I feel so very fortunate that our paths crossed and I got to wander around Brussels with her for a day.

When I arrived at my hostel in Cologne, I met a group of people that I spent the evening with and who were continuing on to Frankfurt and Heidelberg. They had originally had eight people in their group, but one had dropped out last minute, so they suggested I tag along. Now, typically I’m a planner, but sometimes I like to just wing it. So I decided to fly by the seat of my pants, and hopped trains with these strangers, and had this three day whirlwind romance with a boy I’m probably not going to forget any time soon.

I had decided before I left for this trip that I needed a word for 2013, something to serve as a reminder throughout the year. So as I traveled I kept this in mind, trying to think of a word that seemed to fit. And one day as I was walking down the street, looking down at the cobblestone beneath my feet, I realized cobblestone was my word. I have always loved cobblestone streets, how they’re uneven and imperfect in various places and how that makes them all the more perfect.

This whole trip reminded me of how happy the little things make me, reminded me of what really matters, and how I need to embrace what makes me happy.

Cobblestone. It will remind me to be open to opportunity, and let my path lead me where it may.

It will remind me that things are what I make them, so even though I’m home and back to day to day life, it will remind me that I can create adventure at home as well.

If  you have ever thought about doing solo travel, or if it has never even crossed your mind, I urge you to just consider it. Sure, it’s not for everyone, but the opportunity for growth and discovery that it allows is incredible. Some days are quieter than others, some days you’ve made friends you spend the day with, but you get to shape each day and it makes you just feel so free.

Tell me, what makes you feel free?

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December 13, 2012

Daring Greatly

I have been on quite the Brené Brown kick lately. Really, I can’t seem to get enough of what she has to say. When I picked up her latest book Daring Greatly, I kept flipping through the pages and soaking it all in, until I had flipped through every last page. I’ve been having a serious struggle with shame lately, and opening myself up to vulnerability, despite the fact that I know it is so very important.

This is not a new struggle. It’s a human struggle. Yet sometimes, I have a hard time realizing that shame doesn’t define me, and that opening up to vulnerability is exactly what I need.

Shame hangs out in the parking lot arena, waiting for us to come out defeated and determined to never take risks. It laughs and says, “I told you this was a mistake. I knew you weren’t  ___________ enough.” Shame resilience is the ability to say, “This hurts. This is disappointing, maybe even devastating. But success and recognition and approval are not the values that drive me. My value is courage and I was just courageous. You can move on shame.”

– Brené  Brown

I think for me, my shame lately has been showing itself in the form of me not feeling _______enough. Brené talks about this idea of never enough in her book, and I think it pushes its way into all of our lives in some form or another. For me, it varies depending on the day and what I’m dealing with. Yet, at its core it all boils down to feeling inadequate in some form or another.

But the truth is, in allowing myself to not feel worthy enough, or competent enough, or successful enough, I’ve gone away from the me that I really enjoy. My raw, authentic self has been overtaken by this shameful, terrified person that I’m not a big fan of. I’ve been noticing this change for awhile now, and I needed something to reaffirm to myself that I am enough.

Showing up just as I am is enough. It’s more than enough.

So, I bought a plane ticket to Europe. I leave for my trip on December 17, and will be there for 16 days. Besides that, I don’t really have a plan at all. I’m not sure what countries I’m going to cover, what hostels I’m going to stay in, or what trains I need to take. This is me being vulnerable. This is me knowing that I’m strong enough to do this by myself. This is me owning what I need, and choosing to let myself have it.

This trip could a great experience for me, or it could honestly be one disaster right after the other — but that’s something I would never find out if I chose not to go at all. So this time I’m choosing vulnerability over fear.

If I encourage you do to anything as this year is coming to a close, it’s to own what you need to keep your soul stirring.

Tell me, what do you need?

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November 15, 2012

Sounds of Sweet November

We are all individual and come into our own at different points in our lives. For some it happens early; others spend their lifetime waiting to feel comfortable in their own skin. For me it happened at sixteen, when I removed myself from this country, stepped out on my own, and started to see the world around me.

I had always listened to music, appreciated it, claimed to love it, but my love for it was not as deep as I had thought. It was in being removed from all I knew, in a foreign land, that I honed in on detail, and started delving deep into the songs I’d always claimed to love.

I had been a fan of Damien Rice, but I didn’t realize why until I was in a foreign country under a huge wooden handled umbrella. His voice can awaken your soul, but is also capable of pulling you into a deep sleep. His words are the kind that you feel, that attack your soul with all their might.

What he as an artist is able to feed us fulfills the soul and the different compartments it consists of. He somehow is able to attack the entire soul, instead of just a fraction of it, and I think that is what sets him apart.

When November 1 hit this year, I got into work a bit early, made myself a cup of peach ginger tea, got settled into my desk, and turned on Damien Rice. He always seems fitting this time of year when it’s cold, and the wind feels like it’s going right through you. But November is also about being thankful.

In listening to Damien Rice, I’m allowed to be thankful for who I was when I discovered his music, and who I have been through all of the years that I’ve let him create sound in my life.

So, if you do anything this month, be thankful for you, and the things that have gotten you right to where you are.

Tell me, what are those things?

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October 18, 2012

The Gifts of Imperfection

I always love when I’m going along through life and I happen to pick up a book that gets me to face all of the things I’ve been avoiding. This happened when I recently picked up The Gifts of Imperfection by Brené Brown. It got me to face  important things like authenticity, self love, and just owning up to being imperfect. I’ve gone around lately so busy, and so determined to get everything right, that I’ve been driving myself crazy. I’m an imperfect human, and instead of getting angry at myself when I forget to call someone back, or show up late for a meeting, I should anticipate that these things are going to happen, and acknowledge that it’s okay.

Something else that has been getting in my way lately is authenticity. Normally, I pride myself on being raw and authentic in how I portray myself. However, how can this be possible when I’m trying to make sure I get everything just right? It’s an impossible task, and clearly not one I should be aspiring to live up to.

If I haven’t been raw and authentic with myself lately, that surely doesn’t set me up to be very raw and authentic with anyone else.

I’ve shut myself off to the things that I want because they make me vulnerable, and, oh my, is vulnerability scary. But it was so reaffirming to go through this book, because within the past week, I’ve started to make life choices about things that no longer need to be in my life, what I really need, and how I’m going to make those things happen.

All this week, I’ve been making myself vulnerable from sharing this big idea I have with people who are far more knowledgeable than I, stepping down from a position that I’d lost heart in, and choosing to give love a chance with someone whom it failed with in the past. So it has been a big week of feeling extremely vulnerable, and I was terrified the whole time — terrified of my idea being shut down, terrified of letting people down, terrified of being rejected — but I did it anyway.

I thought a lot all week about the fact that life comes with no gurantees, and decided there were two things I could do with that.

I could either live life safely, and only do things where I had control of the outcome, or I could open myself up to the possibility of hurt, if that means potentially finding greatness.

I know there will be times where I’m vulnerable, and my biggest fear becomes reality. Yet I also know that won’t be the case every time. And it’s that little ounce of hope that vulnerability might lead to great things that keeps me open to the idea.

I could go on and on about why you should pick up this book, but I really think it’s something we can all benefit from, as it deals with the things we all struggle with as humans. The book guides you through this idea of cultivating a wholehearted life, and tell me, who doesn’t want that?

Wholehearted living is about engaging in our lives from a place of worthiness. It means cultivating the courage, compassion, and connection to wake up in the morning and think, “No matter what gets done and how much is left undone, I am enough.” It’s going to bed at night thinking, “Yes, I am imperfect and vulnerable and sometimes afraid, but that doesn’t change the truth that I am also brave and worthy of love and belonging.”

~Brené Brown

So tell me, how have you been vulnerable lately?

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September 21, 2012

The Perception of What You Hear

image by StoicDesign – click for info

It’s always interesting how people perceive things within themselves, as well as things outside themselves. You see a tree, and I see the roots deeply implanted in the ground, stretched beneath the earth, pushing out in all directions. I see the large trunk that I know is rough to touch, and can feel it without my hand ever meeting its surface. I see the branches that scatter aimlessly in all directions hovering above, the leaves that live and those that fall – consequences of time, age, or simply just the way of things. I take in the smell that brings about a sense of calm, that reminds me of being raw, at peace. Silence, the wind, and the desire to be perpetually in that moment.

You see, lately I keep having experiences where I feel like my perception of what is happening is far different from other people’s. And that’s perfectly alright. For some reason, instead of doing my reflecting when the new year arrives, I always start to look deeper at things come fall.

Perhaps it’s the leaves changing, or the sense of routine that comes back to me once fall hits, but it always gets me to slow down a bit, observe more, and just really take it all in.

I’m always creating music lists come fall, so I thought I’d share some of my favorite songs that I always seem to bring back into my life around this time of year. Listen to one, or a few, or even them all.

Ben Harper – Walk Away
Erich Hutchinson – All Over Now
John Legend – Ordinary People
Bell X1 – The Apple of my Eye
Kate Walsh – Tonight
Mindy Smith – One Moment
Patrick Park – Life is a Song
Ron Pope – Seven English Girls
Matt Nathanson – Still
The Civil Wars – Poison and Wine
Laura Marling – Ghosts
Ben Lee – We’re All in This Together
Ron Pope – Headlights on the Highway
Laura Jansen – Use Somebody
Ben Kweller – Thirteen
Caitlin Rose – Things Change

And perhaps you’ll like a song off this list, and someone else won’t. But that’s the beauty of it – we all perceive things so differently. And instead of being concerned about my perceptions being “off “lately, I’ve started to embrace how I see things differently from others – because that’s something I get to own, and that’s a pretty exciting thing.

Own your perceptions, enjoy them, celebrate them, and value that they may be tremendously different than the perceptions of everyone you know.

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